Busy weeks with simple lessons

This past week I have been none stop busy.  I have spent some time with my niece and nephew who live out of town, went to the zoo, and experienced some good lesson learning. But, let’s get to the cute stuff. 

My nephew Collin is a little thing with some big attitude.  He is smart and witty.  And only three.  My sister and he nephew came to visit the other day and I went in to say “hello.”  As usual, Collin did not want to say hi, but his kid sister Kaylynn did.  So I give my smooches to her and then head over to Collin (the introvert I think).  He needs help seeing up, so I pick him up and start talking to him.  He sees what he wants and want down.  Our conversation goes something like this:

“I want down.”

“But, I would like a hug and a hello please.”

“No.”

“Well, I think your cute, so maybe I will eat you breakfast.”

“No.”

“Well, how about, I squish and love you?”

“No."

“Well, what can I do?”

“You could get me a treat.” He says with this mischievous smile.  Apparently, his parents are working with him on moderation.  Treat came from Grandpa so I did not have to worry about. Lesson 1: Kids are way smarter than you think.  

Grandpa had to help Collin figure out how to pick an orange for a tree...it was so funny.  

That afternoon, he comes in to watch Walle with me.  He crawls onto the couch, under the blanket I am using and we chit chat about the movie.  Then about half way through he looks at me all serious and says, “We have to watch movies in moderation.”  How do you not lightheartedly laugh at that cuteness?

I finally caved and got my hair cut.  I even got it layered, but we will get to that part in a second.  I go into this thinking all I am going to do is get a trim. I end up getting a deep conditioning and a cut (for only $16, not bad).  The girl who comes up to me has a VERY bad a-line cut (I find out latter one of the other stylists practiced on her).  I think to myself, anyone but her.  But, God heard me and laughed.  She did my deep conditioning and then asks if I want a magazine to read while I wait for the conditioner to do its magic.  Not being one who reads them, I said sure and surprise me with which one you pick.  She surprised me with this:

I laughed out loud and immediately texted Robert.  His response was, “Well, if you were looking for signs.”  Interesting choice…and I have now thought more about a wedding than I ever did with my previous fiancé.  The very next day Robert tells me his roommate called him out for telling one of his class buddies that he should not have gotten engaged…roommate’s word: “Please, you know that will be you in a few months.”  More signs…if you read them I guess.

Anyway, this girl turned out to be quite capable so when she asked if I wanted layers my usual knee-jerk reaction of “no” did not come out. Instead I said, “I really like my length and that I can do an up-do in less than seven minutes.  Please do layers so minuscule that I can still do that it looks good.”  Which, she did beautifully.  She was also really funny…but she was more interested in my not-happening wedding than I was (no, Robert has not proposed…sorry to all my readers who are eagerly awaiting such things). But, here is a bad picture of what it looks like:

Lesson 2: Don't judge a book by its cover.

We took my niece and nephew to the Sacramento Zoo (I have now been to all of California’s zoos in one year).  We got to pet some beautiful animals and almost fed giraffes...next time. 

 

 
 
 
 

My good friend Vivian came to visit.  I actually learned a lot about Yuba City high society – that would be anyone who shops on Plumas Street in Downtown.  We have a great winery, some beautiful décor shops, and a really great used book store (though that is more off a side street than on the main street in general).  She and I window shopped for nothing in particular and I learned I have a keen eye for décor.  At least according to Robert, so I will now be taking applications to design your home.  Some pieces I liked are:

The Winery in Yuba City...super stylish and GREAT wine.

Lesson 3: Small towns are bigger than they appear.

Lesson 4: We still discover skills later in life.  

Robert’s birthday was Sunday.  Everyone wish him a happy birthday.  I sent him a care package of some books, some chocolate covered pomegranates (yes they make that!), some energy drinks, some homemade peach jam, and the best ever Cookie Tree cookies!!!!  He thoroughly enjoyed them…can’t you tell?

All of this happened while juggling three jobs and trying to find a real one in Maryland.  Any ideas are welcome. 

What I want to be when I grown up...

Remember when you were a kid and you were asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Some kids answered doctor, lawyer, rock star, police man.  I answered actor…until I was told I had ugly elbows (to this day I think they are the worst thing on my body).  Then I wanted to be a Navy Seal…until I was told I couldn't because I was girl.  I still think they have the coolest job ever.  Then I decide on President of the United States…until I discovered what that actually meant – stress, stress and more stress and looking like a haggard mess after just four years much less eight (I still want to be beautiful when I am old thank you very much…and domestic politics is not nearly as interesting as foreign). Last week my answer would be to be a diplomat, hopefully an ambassador, but my answer has changed.

I have three jobs now and by this Saturday will have worked fifteen days in a row.  Sunday after work I watched the movie Trainspotting (a recommendation from two of my brothers that I hated!!!)  So, to get my mind back I searched Netflix for something more cheerful and stumbled upon the movie This is Our Time.  It is a tale about five college graduates entering the real world.  Four of the five find themselves in the places they believe they should be in their careers right out of the gate while the fifth one (the one I relate to and will be referred to as Connector in this blog) has been denied graduate school and is stuck serving sandwiches at his dad’s shop. 

Naturally, Connector is frustrated feeling like he wasted his time and money on a degree that is useless to him.  He feels left behind as he watches his friends move forward in life and in love and he remains on the sidelines.  In his bearing of his heart to his mentor he discovers that perhaps, God places us on the sidelines for such a time as this.  What a way to hit home for me.  But my lessons in this movie did not end there.  Oh, no. 

Later, one of the characters dies and in the going through of remaining articles, the group discovers what she thought of them.  His description was connector.  He was the writer, the one who could see people for what they are, not what they present to the world.  He was the glue that held the group together and connected people to who they truly are.

Robert had just finished telling me that I do good in the lives of so many, even though I do not see it.  Hearing this, it was as if God was telling me that my unique skills and talents will accomplish tasks, but an occupation is not what He called me to.  You’ve hear that term before, “calling.” “God called me to Africa,” “God called me to be a singer.”  Well, my whole life I have been waiting for this calling.  I have watched as my siblings new from a young age their “calling” – lawyer, stay at home mom, singer.  I never had that feeling.  My feeling was to be a history maker…there is no college degree that can prepare you for that (Abraham Lincoln was self-educated…never got a formal education). But somehow, I missed this lesson.

What I learned was that my calling is not to an occupation.  That question: What do you want to be when you grow up? we interpret that wrong.  It is not about occupation and employment, it is about character.  I want to be good.  I want to be generous.  I want to be humble.  I want to kind.  I want to be compassionate.  If all of this is in place, God will use the unique skills, talents and abilities he has granted me in my employment whether that is as a banquet server, a nanny, or an ambassador or officer.

Simple blessings

“I am not skilled to understand what God has willed what God has planned.  I only know at His right hand stands one who is my Savior.” Aaron Shust

Blessings come in many sizes and packages.  This week I have been blessed abundantly.  No, I do not have my dream job, or even a job in the field…yet.  But I have found joy in the simple things.

Sunday I had such a good experience at church, I just had to share it with Robert.  We set up a much needed Skype session (thank God for the part of technology) and I explained how much I enjoy singing worship and hearing from God.  I got really excited when he said he would like to come to church with me. That kind of joy can’t be shared in its truest form by just discussing it, it has to be experienced.  I am so excited to share that part of my life with him.

I talked with Robert this week about a dream I have.  Some of you know I want to see the end of human trafficking in my life time (at least in the US).  But, I also have a passion to help where it is really bad – the Congo.  In the Congo 90% of girls are sexually mutilated (not just assaulted) by the time they are 3 years old!!  Evidence shows that one of the best ways to curb this is to educate.  I do not mean educate girls about how to protect themselves, but to educate period.  Math. Science.  English.  Reading.  Writing.  All of it. When this happens, the children of the abusers/traffickers go to school and become friends with those would-be victims.  This relationship makes it more difficult for the aggressors to kidnap, attack, etc.

So, I want to open a school in the Congo.  I want to also attach a clinic where students can be safe and get the help they need physically.  There are few doctors who can fix the kind of damage these girls receive when the have been mutilated with all sorts of tools and weapons.  Many die from lack of treatment.  It is a terrible place they are in and we can help.

As I was telling Robert this he surprised me.  Most men say, “Oh, that’s great but it is unrealistic.  You will never come close to that,” or, “Oh, how naïve you are!”  Robert’s response was, “I don’t know how to help you.  But, if all I can do is pass out clean water and send them to you for education and learning about God, then that’s what I’ll do.”  That is a sign of support from a good guy.  How blessed I am!  I cannot wait for this dream to become a reality, but knowing that I have his support, makes it all the more exciting.

Monday I was so blessed to not just talk to my nieces and nephews in Texas, but to Skype them.  Oh, how I miss them!  Keira showed me the new house and has grown into such a young lady in only a few months. She is beautiful and poise.  Gianna has gotten so big!  She bragged about sleeping on the top bunk, and she speech has just developed so well.  Khristian is so popular! He has already made friends with the entire neighborhood (and school hasn’t even started yet!) I can’t wait to see him play some b-ball…he has this incredible innate talent.  Kadin is walking!!!!!!  He is so big and cuddly.  I miss him.  Kole, my sweet little mischievous friend, took the phone and liked to play with me by walking into the dark closet and back out to save me from the darkness.  Then he monkeyed around and hung upside down with his curly-cue long hair and commented on his ability to change how it looked, and turned the phone upside down to show that I could be upside down too.  I miss dancing and singing with him.  He is getting so big.  Thank you for sharing them with me Tausha and Jason.

That morning I went to Roseville to play in this giant jungle gym called Wackey Tackey.  I have been to tons of these things with my nieces and nephews, but this is one of the best ones I have seen.  They had ball pits, jungle gyms, shooting balls, giant balls, and everything was tall enough for the adults to accompany the kids on.  The only down fall is there was poor security.  But if you are an active parent, this would be a great place to take the kids – especially in extreme heat and down pouring rain.

 

 

My kid sister’s baby girl surprises me every time I see her.  She is so cute and happy.  She had fun trying to keep up with her older cousins.  Collin was just so energetic!  I think he did the entire place in ten minutes and still had fun for another two hours replaying everything.  It was so fun to watch the eldest, Kolby, playing with the kids.  He did everything from throwing balls at the kids (when appropriate) to helping them climb, to chasing them around.  It was so fun to watch.

We then ate at this terrible hot dog place on the way home.  I would tell you the name but I can’t remember. In a tight pinch on time, it wasn’t bad.  The customer service was actually quite amazing!  But the hot dogs were less than appetizing.  Since nothing else was near, we settled there and had a good time of fellowship with the kids.

I spent the Tuesday morning at the park with my nieces and nephews – climbing up the jungle gym like a champ I might add! And then I was so blessed to see the movie Planes Tuesday.  We stopped by Jamba Juice because they are doing a promotion of Planes cups for kids smoothies and then took the kids.  This movie is significantly better than the Cars movie, in my opinion.  It teaches good lessons like lying catches up to you and hurts people, face your fears and always do good – even when life looks bad.  It was so fun to take the kids.  When I told Robert I saw Planes I also told him he would enjoy it.  His response, “Oh, I see them all the time.  Where did you go, on base or Sacramento?”  Oh what is lost in text!  I had to share that smile with the world.  Air Force on the brain, which is good, but I hope you get a chance to see it on your down time.  You will really like it, hon.

David, my kid brother, and I did a google hangout session yesterday – he is they only one I know who uses it.  For those of you who don’t know, it is a type of Skype.  We chatted about nothing and everything and enjoyed just joshing with each other.  I hope you are enjoying your day off today, though I still think you should come visit me.  Then I was blessed with my boss giving me today off.

Simple lesson: find joy in the small things and the big things seem less daunting.  I don’t have my dream job, but I am closer (pray this most recent application comes to something please).  I am heading in the right direction and know that God has a plan.  That’s all that matters.  Doing God’s will even when I don’t have the answers…which is usually. And still He provides and still He loves and still I am blessed.

Hard Lessons

So busy this week. When He provides, it pours.  Where to begin?  First, I apologize for the long time between posts, I am working with a new schedule and need to rework when I do things like Bible study and writing.  So, why the new schedule?

This past week I have been flooded with rejection letters from places I know I would excel at and have been continually frustrated with the process.  At one point on Tuesday I had received four rejection letters (I would receive another two the following days).  I was so frustrated and scared about finances.  Fear overwhelmed me.  I cried out to God, and not in the nice holy way I have been taught to. I wailed at Him. 

“Father, I have followed your will.  I have done what you asked.  I have gone where you called.  I followed the rules.  Why must you continually forget me?!  Why have you ignored my prayers?!  I am tired and scared and feel abandoned!  Give me a break!!  I need a break!!! I can’t handle always doing well and never going anywhere.  I know you have provided me a house to live in and a car to drive, but you continually close doors of employment!  I search and apply and have for four years!!  I am tired of the rejection for no good reason!!!  You promised abundantly more than I could ask for, yet do not provide the job to take care of my bills!!!!  I NEED you to come through for me!  My faith is weak and it is my fault.  This past week I have not been in communion with you, but I need you to show up!  Help!!”

I cried out and screamed and threw a tantrum.  It was awful.  Not the way to address the King and Creator of the Universe.  I went on this way for at least an hour.  It was not my best moment.  To top it off, my internet gave out and I had to restart applications that take forever to fill out.  So, I jumped into the Word thinking perhaps He would speak to me, but he didn’t.  About an hour later, my sister called with a job offer – part time but it will pay my bills.  Praise the Father in Heaven.  God is good even when I am not!

Unfortunately, this was not my only learning experience this week. 

I went my niece and nephew to the Sacramento Children’s Museum (did you know they have one?)  I thought it was going to be more like the Exploratorium but it turned out to be more like an indoor play place complete with painting on the walls and water to play in.  They were so cute!  By the end of the day they were both so tired it was like they were zombies.  Super cute.  

 

 

I was blessed to be able to go to the San Francisco Zoo on Thursday.  I saw some amazing animals, and now can say I have been to every zoo in California.  I got to see my niece and nephew enjoy animals, touch wondering goats and sheep.  I missed my nephew Kole a lot through the experience.  He really enjoys animals, especially dinosaurs and turtles.  I took pictures of them for him, even though he could not experience them with me.  I miss him something awful!

But, I got to see Rylyn and Liam enjoy the Macaws and other exotic birds that could fly freely in the Birds of Paradise display and touch the salt crystal in the whale display (don’t ask why there was salt crystal with a whale display on loan from the Mexican consulate…it has nothing to do with whales).  We saw polar bears and lions and cheetahs and had a great time. 

 

 

I then went to a Thirty One meeting (a purse and organization line that my sister sells).  I think I will start selling it…so keep your eyes open to start organizing your houses, classes, students, dancers, athletes, and beach days better. 

Friday I babysat for my sister and then went home to get into a good fight with Robert.  It happened like any other fight, it was a miscommunication.  We yelled.  It was frustrating and most people would have ended the relationship after a first fight.  But, we both learned a lot about each other, and Robert actually taught me something about me through it.  He taught me that I speak more negatively than positively about people in my life and I did not realize it.  I love the people in my life, friends and family, but sometimes to de-stress I vent to him what is going on in my life.  But how can I expect him to be excited to meet these important people, if I never share the good stuff with him?  Smart man, and completely right.  So, I then spent about an hour going through the important people in my life and telling him all the good things.  It really opens your eyes when the people you love tell you truths like that – I never would have realized it. 

And the best part about a fight is that you know if you can be with that person.  It is easy to be with someone when life is easy, when you don’t agree it is a lot more difficult.  If dating is for finding a mate, and I believe it is, then you have to realize you will fight and life gets harder not easier when you add a new person into the mix.  So, without a fight, you don’t really know if you can handle being with a person.  It sounds weird, but I was actually happy after the fight.  We were able to resolve it, we were able to learn from it, we were able to communicate better.  Sometimes the blessing is in the pain – in this case, without the fight I would not have learned about my communication style and he would not have learned about me.  These are important blessings.

I started my second job as a banquet server last night.  I enjoyed a friendly staff and good people. I served snow cones and cotton candy to kids at a carnival with a friend who did face painting.  God provided.  I got sun sick, really sick, complete with migraine and nausea.  It was awful, but my amazing boyfriend, checked in on me and encouraged me in my first day and in my future with employment better suited to my unique skill set.  I really am blessed to have him.  Robert, thank you for being a constant encouragement, a strong shoulder, and a funny lifter of my spirit.  God has blessed me with you. 

So, all in all, I have learned that sometimes God answers our prayers, there is just sometimes time before we see the answer.  I have learned to be less of a complainer and have more of a gratitude attitude.  I have learned to be more aware of the good than the bad.  I have learned to better communicate. I have learned that I really am truly blessed.  So, this week, I am going to try to cling to those lessons so I can be the support I have received this week to someone else who needs it more.  After all, I am not on this earth for me, but to serve Him.  And He promises to go before me and behind me; He promises to give abundantly more than I could ask for (I just have to wait for His timing); He is good, so when I follow Him I am in His hand, protected, blessed, and provided for.  I need to get out of His way and let Him move me; I need to get on board with what He is doing.  After all, His plans are better than mine. And I need to draw nearer to Him and He will draw near to me.   

Balls, Parties, Guns

Family, friends, and loved ones – simple concepts with great expectations and foundations in life.  This weekend was full of them.  Robert had a small family emergency that taught me what I thought I already knew – he relies on me for the big and the small.  When things like that come up people are not themselves, combined with my sickness all weekend it was a very off weekend for us.  We didn’t get to talk as much and we learned a valuable lesson – text doesn’t convey emotion.  But, our small talks ended up being each other’s salve. 

Thursday I got to go with my niece for her first time bowling.  The lady at the lanes said in her 12 years of working there they had never seen a bowler so young (she is only about 18 months).  She totally kicked her brother’s butt getting two strikes in a row!  I watched the two of them battle it out and enjoy the new experience.  Of course, the tall ladder that drops the ball for kids did help them out quite a bit.

Friday I interviewed for a job working banquets. I got it!  Not after my new boss opened the interview saying, “You’re interviewing me.  I already know where I would put you,” and “if you can succeed here, you can succeed anywhere because the politics and crap that happens here is ridiculous and unprecedented.”  He apparently hates the facility, though loves the job.  I start this Friday.  Hopefully, this job with the two proofreading jobs (I am still in testing stages with both but here is to crossing my fingers) I can begin to relax a bit. 

My brother-in-law’s birthday was Friday.  Actually, almost all my in-laws birthdays were last week.  A birthday every day for most of the week, but he is in the same town so I went over to celebrate with him.  We did cake first with my kid sister and her daughter and then headed to Chilies.  I have not eaten there in years, but it was great food – though our server was less than great. 

Saturday was my mom’s birthday and the first one I was home for in ten years.  Two of my nieces and nephews came over to bake with her in the morning.  They got the good stuff – chocolate chip cookies.  The adults got the equivalent of a healthy coffee cake…not bad but not my first go to either.  But the fellowship with my kid sis and her husband was fun. 

After baking we all headed to lunch with one of my older sisters and her family joined.  My dad taught me the basics to shooting both a revolver and an automatic while we tried to keep sane through the chaos.  Both he and myself work from home so we spend a great deal of time alone.  That large grew of people (11) and the restaurant scene was much more than we are used to.  I at least get some time with my sister and her family every day (I have to keep sane somehow), but my dad spends most his time working in his office on his own.  So, the lesson was great. 

My dad is a world champion marksman.  Really, he is top notch and has that exact award.  He used to put the newspaper clipping with his picture of him shooting some kind of gun up at the front door so our dates could see it.  Here is a picture of him aiming for the small silhouette on the target: 

And aiming for the head at 20 feet away: 

Well, having him teach you to shoot a gun is not a bad thing. After lunch my parents took me to shoot with them for the first time.  As I am shooting my mom’s automatic (yep she is quite good with a gun too), I can barely hear her through my ear protection that “She is a good shot.” 

My dad had me shoot the revolver (I like that one) from about 10 feet away.

Then he had me shoot from about 20 feet away (what you are trained to do in the military…ok they do about 25 feet but this was an indoor range).

Not bad for only my second time ever and first time in years.  Ryan S.  you should be proud! When we left my dad said, “You are a good shot” (not bad coming from a world champion marksman) and my mom said, “You are your father’s daughter.”  Ok, not going to lie, that made me swell with pride a bit. 

We closed off the night celebrating my mom with her favorite card game – Canasta.  Kim and I played partners.  Though she was also taking care of her babies, so she gave away our 100 point lead in the last hand to have my parent’s beat us by 2000 points.  My comment to my mom,  “She has been ruining my life…” fell into a laugh.  Probably a good thing that my mom won, but really, she always wins that game.  But it was so much fun to play with her and my dad.

Robert sent me a package of a really cute fedora (doesn’t he have great taste?) and a workout band for my iphone.  I told him perhaps over a month ago I was looking for one, and he surprised me with it.  He is a great listener.  How did I get so lucky?  Then he sent me an actual post card!!!  It is of the Old Place Plantation in Gautier, MS.  I love the little note on it! 

Sunday, I worked for the first time in the nursery at church.  Thank you for the subbing positions to still get paid.  I then spent the day chatting with Robert and ended up going to dinner with my sister and her family.  Living in an orchard and surrounded by no sound (especially when my parents are both gone) really can get

to your head.  I had to escape my brain.  So, it was a nice feeling when Robert called and helped me to do that.  We have officially survived a month together officially and separated.  We realized that he comes home on our anniversary in October.  That is a gift I am looking forward to getting.

For now, it is back to the grind and frustration of job hunting.  Here is hoping something pops.  

Thank the Lord for small blessings

In a small town the small things often become the exciting things.  At least, that is what I think I am learning.

These past couple days have been full of nothing particularly special, just quite stress and pondering really.  I have done the job hunt thing and am getting really frustrated that I am too over qualified for any jobs where I live and too under qualified for the jobs in the city in which I will be living.  How does that happen? But, I got hired as a substitute nursery worker for the church.  It isn’t consistent work, but it will be helpful for now.  I have an interview to train as a buser for the country club out here on Friday.  I am hoping for more consistent work.  And I am in training to work for an actual publisher as an independent contractor proofer.  They are paying for the training, but not for me to train.  Hopefully, I can get through it fast so that I can start getting paid gigs with them.  They are easy to work with, so that is exciting. 

But, in the meantime, I still have those pesky student loans.  I graduated with my bachelors debt free (yay me!!!)  It took going to school time and half, working four jobs at a time and having no life, but it was worth it.  Unfortunately, for my masters the time commitment to succeed was significantly more, so I had to take out loans (and I still worked two jobs to make ends meet).  After you graduate you are supposed to get a good job and pay them off…so far I am not having much luck.  These things stress me out more than any other bill because they NEVER go away and they will ALWAYS screw your credit.  So, trying to figure out how to pay for them is getting stressful.  Please pray I get this job with the club (even though I have very little serving experience) and the proofing job takes off.  

Frustrated with the job situation has not made me ignorant of the actual small blessings of being in a small town with family.  I spent the past two days getting some quality time with my two god-children.  It has been fun getting to know them.  We went to Color Me Mine yesterday where I helped to make a tea set for my niece.  My two nephews painted a dolphin and a tractor. 

Afterwards we went to this restaurant, Pluto’s.  I had no idea this place even existed!  It was great healthy food (mine lasted me two meals).  And the atmosphere was clean and vibrant.  I would recommend this place to anyone who wants a healthy meal on the run. 

I got Robert the last part of his birthday package (it is in 26 days to all who want to get him something…I recommend anything really; he is away and needs the loving).  When I told him this, he said “You are not supposed to be spoiling me; I am supposed to be spoiling you.”  I selfishly agree, but I still like doing these nice things for you.  And, you will really like it.  But I am not giving you any hints…but you should try and guess anyway. 

My sister was telling one of the youth that they should find a man that treats them like a queen and that they can respect.  She then went on to say that Robert sounds just like that for me (though she qualified it by saying she hasn’t met him yet…but I agree with her).  Thank you for treating me so well! 

My exhaustion has not ceased.  I actually found myself taking a ten minute cat nap yesterday. I haven’t taken a nap in so long!  But my body rebelled against me and made it mandatory.  I know I have a hard time sleeping, but lately it seems to be the worst!  I have had dreams the past three nights of zombies and headless horsemen.  Really?  I don’t even watch this kind of stuff.  Ariel says it is subjectively thinking about Robert because he is so into zombies and horror flicks.  I guess…why couldn’t he be into butterflies and fairies? 

The fair starts tonight.  I am helping out with the Miss Yuba Sutter competition.  This will be the first real test of being in the same place at the same time as my ex-fiancé.  He is judging.  So, being the amazing guy he is, Robert told me I could call him to escape if I need to.  I am hoping some of my competition friends help me out too.  The returning Miss Yuba Sutter will for sure…thanking the Lord for small blessings.