tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74626386649690704682024-02-02T05:37:28.003-08:00Chaotic ContemplationChaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-71667101871000119222014-09-15T17:49:00.002-07:002014-09-15T17:49:59.622-07:00How to Avoid and Not Be a Toxic Friend<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I
was young making and keeping friends was so easy. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">It was as simple as common interest and
luckily, we all went to the same school so we had seven hours a day to invest
in each other.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then we had all the extra-curricular
time too – band, choir, drama, trips across the state and continent.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Time was there.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">All conflicts seemed to be settled relatively
easily.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">In fact, I am still friends with
most of my high school friends.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But, as
I get older, as I move around a lot, I find making and keeping friends is so
difficult. There are less and less
things like school to bring adults together.
There are more and more distractions to keep us from investing in each
other. Work, community service, kids,
even family all seem to be obstacles to developing mature healthy
relationships. Sometimes we get so depressperate we even let toxic friends into our lives. But it shouldn’t be that
way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Friendship
is good for the mind, body and soul. One study shows that people with the most
friends over a 9 year period cut their risk of death more than 60% </span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">(<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1638033806">Source:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></a></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://anapsid.org/">anapsid.org</a></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">). Dr. Dean
Ornish, a pioneer in reversing heart disease, states no other factor in
medicine, “not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not
drugs, not surgery – has a greater effect on how often we get sick than the
healing power of love.” (</span><a href="http://www.capecodonline.com/health/friendships"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Source:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">capecodonline.com</span></a><span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">). In a study were women saw volunteer friends
regularly throughout the year; they had a 72% remission in depression. That is the same success rate as antidepressants </span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">(</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Source:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">psychologytoday.com</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">But friendship is good for the soul. People with strong social networks are more
likely to survive major illness like cancer or heart attack. It reduces the
effects of stress on the body and helps us heal. (</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Source:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.capecodonline.com/cctimes/health/friendship13.htm" target="_blank"><span style="background: white; color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">capecodonline.com</span></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">). And all of this was DESIGNED that way. Gensis 2:18 states: “</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Lord</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> God said, “It is not good for the man
to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> So why do we stop
investing as we get older? </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Life gets complicated. That is the true reality. And when life gets complicated and hard it is
easier to stop letting people in and try to do things on your own. But that is not the example we have been set. Christ began his ministry by finding and
investing in 12 close friends – what we know now as the apostles. But more than that, he had 3 close friends -
Peter, James, and John - the inner circle friends, friends of the circle of
trust. </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Christ followed </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Proverbs 13:20 – “Walk with the
wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” When Christ
started his 3 year ministry which would be tulmultous and difficult, he found
the company of wise men. But more
importantly, they found the company of a wise man. In the course of these three years, these men
would heal the sick, raise the dead, anger the political and religious leaders
(in today’s terms the President of the United States and the Pope). The were kicked out of towns, barrated, and
eventually beaten and publically killed.
If wisdom was ever needed it was in these times. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Although
perhaps more extreme than what you or I might expereince today, the principle
is the same. Deciphering when to become
intimate with a person, what happens if you made that decision to young and the
consiquences that follow, perhaps it is a question of drug use or where to go
to college or whether to join the service.
All of these life altering decisions need wise counsel. So it is SO important to surround yourself
with wise people. They will help steer
you away from the stupid mistakes while supporting you in the situation you are
presently in. </span></div>
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Proverbs 18:24 states, “<span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,</span></span></span><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 5pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” and </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Proverbs 17:17 – “<span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">A friend loves at all
times,</span> and a brother is born for a time of adversity.</span></span>” Here is a true life example of what this
looks like. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">My kid brother was a senior in high school and
went to a bachelor party of a life long friend.
This friend was not wise by any stretch of the imagination. All the guys got drunk and my brother found
himself giving it away in the back of a car to a girl he had broken up with
numerous times with because she was unstable.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">One year later, in a happy relationship with the
woman who is now his wife, he got a call from the one night stand, and was told
he was the father of a bouncing baby boy.
In the utter shock and confusion of the situation he tried to do
everythin on his own. In the processes, he alienated people who cared about him
and unknowingly signed away his rights as a father and the child was illegally
adopted. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">When people found out, he was kicked out of youth
groups, Bible studies, and some community organizations. Life was, to say the least, hard. But he learned a valuable proverb – “A friend
loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” In this process both he and his
then-girlfriend, now wife, learned what real friendship is. Being loved at ALL times – even when we make
gargantuan mistakes. The friends he had
made that choice with ran away when life got hard, but some of the true friends
stuck around and helped him through the very tough situation. But he discovered what brotherhood was
too. In the process three of our
siblings offered to adopt the child as their own, and all of us came around him
to support and uplift him. We all make
stupid decisions, but the people who stick with us through those stupid
decisions are the ones we know are our true friends. <br />
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Healthy relationships are impotant, but we can’t just stop at having those friends
in our lives. We MUST BE those friends to others. Ephesisians 4:2-3 states, “</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the
unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Plainly speaking – be nice, even when it is difficult, be kind – even when
you want to wring their necks, be
considerate – even when you just need to focus on yourself
sometimes. Never be the voice of
dissention – unless it is to stop hurt and damage. Always work in love, speak in love, and
interact in love – even with strangers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Relationships
are hard. You are not always going to
make the best decisions in them, but with a firm foundation you have a hope of
it. Christ picked 12 close friends he walked with for three years. One of them betrayed him into the hands of
his enemy, sealing it with a kiss.
Juddas brought armed men to arrest the peaceful Christ and sold his best
friend for a mere 30 pieces of silver.
Yet, Christ, knowing the betrayal would happen, still died to forgive
his sins (had Judas asked). After all,
as John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life
for one’s friends.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02368082212182745502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-86549993185297006912014-08-20T16:34:00.004-07:002014-08-20T16:34:54.460-07:00Say what? He PURSUES me!?!<div class="MsoNormal">
If you are like me, and maybe you are not, but if you are
what keeps you awake at night is not my circumstances or my looks and body
image. What keeps me up, and has since I
can remember, are my relationship – those with my friends, my family, and most
especially with God. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Questions like: How could I have done that differently? I
hope they hear my heart…but what if they don’t like me? Am I being a reflection of Christ’s love for
me? When I was younger, and in the dating game, questions like: will
he ask me out? Am I coming on too
strong? Not enough? Does God approve of
dating? Should I be pursuing a romantic
relationship or just focus on God? All of these are relationship questions and
our focus the next couple weeks. Today,
we are going to talk about our relationship with God. <o:p></o:p></div>
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1 Samuel reminds us, “God does not look at the things people
look at. People look at the outward
appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
How comforting I have found these words growing up. Being an introverted band geek and drama nerd
who doesn’t get on well in large groups, how people view me was always
important. Add on to it, I am the middle
of 7 and the daughter of not one, but TWO pastor’s – eyes were always on me –
to be perfect. Now that is
pressure. But when I read this, I am
reminded that it is not about image or personality or how many likes I have on
Facebook or followers on Twitter. It is
about my heart. God cares about me. Just me.
The way I am. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus confirms this in Luke 12:7 confirms this when he says,
“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are
worth more than many sparrows.” At first
glance, this seems like nothing, but when you look at the bigger picture, it
really is amazing. God cares enough
about the insignificant sparrow and provides him food and clothes the flowers
in brilliance when all they do is fade and die tomorrow. How much more, does he care for me? How much more does He want to know me? To talk with me? To walk with me? How amazing is it that the Almighty, the very
creator of the universe, Heaven and Earth, wants more than just to watch me
from afar, but knows the very hairs on my head?
<o:p></o:p></div>
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But it gets better!
Psalms tells us that His “beauty and love chase after me every day of my
life.” His love CHASES us. The very word
means to pursue with intent to catch. He
is pursuing us – working to catch us and embrace us in everlasting love. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So when I think about relationships at the end of the day,
before I fall asleep, I can go to bed in complete confidence that God not only
knows who I am, but knows me intimately and loves me. He actually wants to be in my life so much,
He PURSUES me! How awesome is that!<o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-15148802508132970992014-01-30T08:39:00.004-08:002014-01-30T08:39:55.988-08:0010 Things I Learned Driving Across the Country<br /><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->ALWAYS use a Garmin.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have spent most of my life using hand written directions and maps. My daddy taught me how to read a map when I
was ten (thank goodness for that!) But having that handy-dandy Garmin to use on
trip was AMAZING. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Garmins will tell you directions (quite literally they speak to you and
you can set the type of accent they use…so much fun!) Garmins will show you
maps, can re-route you for anything in under 60 seconds and can save your
locations. But that is not why I think
you should use a Garmin over Google or Tom Tom. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My mom told me this story, just before we left on our cross country
adventure, of when she and my dad went to the D.C. area for work. She had a rental car and was crossing state
lines (you do that a lot here…I know crazy for you Californians). She was pulled over almost immediately for
speeding. Here is the kicker – the speed
limit change had NOT been posted. When
she asked the officer when the speed limit had changed, his answer (in East
Coast fashion) was, “About 60 years ago!”
Needless to say she paid the ticket and we got a free lesson. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On EVERY state line we crossed the speed limit changed by 10 mph every
time…without a change posted. How did we
know this valuable bit of information?
The Garmin. It tells you when and
to how much the speed limit changes…AT the change! Saved us multiple times!<o:p></o:p></div>
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You have to get one: <a href="http://www.garmin.com/">www.garmin.com</a></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->NEVER eat at a fast food restaurant on base.<o:p></o:p></div>
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About the second or third day, after a ten hour drive, we
pulled onto a base (I won’t say which one) exhausted. It was by far the most friendly base we have
ever stayed on…and we have stayed at a lot! It was about 9:00 p.m. and we were
hungry! So we stopped by the McDonalds on the way to lodging. Now neither of us like McDonalds, but it was
what was open. We order a chicken wrap,
and because it was almost Christmas and it is a Black Family tradition to have
Egg Nog, I ordered an Egg Nog shake (first one ever). It tasted great too! Until about 1:00 a.m. Then for the next 24 hours my body expelled
it and anything else I tried to put in it.
Needless to say, our two days with my Austin family was quickly
shortened to one. So bummed!!! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Certain
states (at least part of them) don’t want you to flush soiled toilet paper…GROSS!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because I got so sick, I used a lot of bathrooms as we
traversed across New Mexico and into Texas .
A couple caught me off guard. One
was the Pizza Hut (I can’t remember if it was in New Mexico or Texas) but I can
remember that we will NEVER eat Pizza Hut again. We didn’t even eat there, but the smell from
outside all the way in was VOMIT.
Awful! So we let the dog out to
pee and we headed on. In Texas, however,
we stopped at a Dairy Queen (only thing open on Christmas Eve). If you are ever as ill as I was, their toast
was a perfect thing to keep down…that was all I ate. But, they don’t want you to put spoiled paper
tissue in the toilet. I found that icky
and strange, but I bet it has something to do with their pipes. Anyway, it made me pity the trash guy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Take
a driving buddy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I cannot tell you how helpful a driving buddy is! Of course a trip like this is only half as
much fun if you go alone, but with the driving buddy it is wonderful! Robert
and I were able to take turns often, which made us always fresh…except on day
one when I drove 11 hours from Yuba City, CA to Phoeniz, AZ. Robert had just spent 24 hours flying to
Georgia and back so he was in no condition to drive. By the time we got into our hotel at near
1:00 a.m. I could not say it was too soon.
That was also the nicest place we stayed at the whole time…so bummed it
was only for 10 hours. But, the rest of the trip was made much easier because
there were two of us. It also meant we
could keep making progress even when I was decommissioned for a day. Aside from
banter and shared experiences, the help driving is a MUST!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->See
as much family and friends as possible!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I cannot stress this one enough! Especially when you
traveling across country for a move, this one is essential. Half way through our trip I got to see my
Austin family. Oh how I miss them! It was
a blessing to be with them on Christmas Day and more to just hang out with my
little buddies. When you think you are
done driving and know family is on the other side, that is what keeps you
going. Two days later, we got to see
Robert’s family in Georgia. It was a
nice connection before we headed on to
our new home in Maryland. That is a
great way to keep you driving across deserts and no-wheres-villes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->6.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Don’t
drive through the country during the holidays.<o:p></o:p></div>
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NOTHING IS OPEN THE WEEK OF CHRISTMAS OR NEW YEARS!!!!! Just so you know. That made it hard to do anything fun
anywhere. But, we did come across the
biggest trading post I have EVER seen in Texas (they really do all things
bigger). This post was quite literaly in
the middle of nowhere, but it was boasted easily 600 square feet of wall to
wall product – blankets, carvings, purses, etc.
And they really are super friendly! We also stumbled across a General
Paton Museum we had no idea exisited (though it was closed).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2tL7gRpOA2gaMvVWpZf5tCLAICVEdX70APGeIHzY839ZV7ZS1QovQnUTh7-KrF6TSIR7kqsCiLWaXmRMS-ny0R19fwo3cpwWhu4eHNv7kvdVKUJ2o8CsvfOFOU_hq8Gpqf6wJHapDUg/s1600/IMG_3324.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2tL7gRpOA2gaMvVWpZf5tCLAICVEdX70APGeIHzY839ZV7ZS1QovQnUTh7-KrF6TSIR7kqsCiLWaXmRMS-ny0R19fwo3cpwWhu4eHNv7kvdVKUJ2o8CsvfOFOU_hq8Gpqf6wJHapDUg/s1600/IMG_3324.JPG" height="149" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlQQd-psip9feCvHOFUPHpo1CGvHkR_73NJL6P1CysjUJWHksfiKmT_hyKgMugISZffuA7NkOlcQnBYWX2zou281Wb0MozNz1GncHds8r6UNDeBtfABIZSveV8DkKc3YK7EYn7yVdGpQ/s1600/IMG_3331.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlQQd-psip9feCvHOFUPHpo1CGvHkR_73NJL6P1CysjUJWHksfiKmT_hyKgMugISZffuA7NkOlcQnBYWX2zou281Wb0MozNz1GncHds8r6UNDeBtfABIZSveV8DkKc3YK7EYn7yVdGpQ/s1600/IMG_3331.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizQA0_SrfiKb2bWZq6aR6Tsob34HpCJ49LnYkuVUpj-k_OCQY6PVZtXwdqWNgiOkxZ9UiUALaP_mJpUUkKMQJ67Dfk6ZOi2rxa47hBLgPiGPSFYaxNjsuedt8giN1lJ84o7Pz6McUy4w/s1600/IMG_3326.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizQA0_SrfiKb2bWZq6aR6Tsob34HpCJ49LnYkuVUpj-k_OCQY6PVZtXwdqWNgiOkxZ9UiUALaP_mJpUUkKMQJ67Dfk6ZOi2rxa47hBLgPiGPSFYaxNjsuedt8giN1lJ84o7Pz6McUy4w/s1600/IMG_3326.JPG" height="149" width="200" /></a><br />
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->7.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->The
state of Florida is on TWO DIFFERENT time zones.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When you spend a week plus on the road you find little ways
to keep entertained as you drive across nothing. One of those ways is to check changes in time
zones. If you are from California, like
I am, you have spent your entire life believing Florida is on East Coast
time. And you would be right…for half of
the state! Half the state is on central
time and the other half is eastern. It
blew our minds! Especially because we expected it to change at or near the
state line. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->8.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Georgia
believes in killing its drivers…especially in the rain!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ok, that really isn’t fair to say. I cannot say with definitely that the entire
state of Georgia believes in killing its drivers, but I can make a fair
guess. I drove the entire state of
Georgia, in the rain and in both night and day.
In my experience, a state that does not believe in lighting even their
highways, does not use reflectors on the road and doesn’t bother to re-painted
their very, very faded lane lines, wants to kill drivers. You can barely see in the dark for all the
forests and swamps in Georgia, and you can barely see in the day for their lack
of road repair. But, add in torrential
rain and you can see for anything. I was
never so happy to cross into a new state as I was to cross into South Carolina!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->9.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->South
Carolina is beautiful in architecture and nature.<o:p></o:p></div>
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South Carolina gets a bad rap because they made some
decisions way back to hundred years ago and are still paying for it. But I will say this, it is BEAUTIFUL! It is by far one the most beautiful states I
have ever driven through. We even
stopped off in Camden as an unscheduled stop to see some history. They have painstakingly incorporated modern
with historical. Everything is well
taken care of and planned out. The drivers are wonderful too! Nowhere else will you find drivers getting to
the slow lane so quickly when you are going faster than them, no one cuts you
off, everyone uses their blinker, it is wonderful (and the complete opposite of
Maryland). I cannot wait to spend more time there!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDZqRX2P-_UqztMyru7_C3joSiGN0HRCGBPQOpiyGyoXgm6bDtTI8Do6IP3EYmNg35TS-N9HbN7kpg7qm3rbM2GgJ09cnBCO_qBEb7mOPsyrKgOP4bjgCTuUxkQX2UE4jMwSqWpjNiYA/s1600/IMG_3389.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDZqRX2P-_UqztMyru7_C3joSiGN0HRCGBPQOpiyGyoXgm6bDtTI8Do6IP3EYmNg35TS-N9HbN7kpg7qm3rbM2GgJ09cnBCO_qBEb7mOPsyrKgOP4bjgCTuUxkQX2UE4jMwSqWpjNiYA/s1600/IMG_3389.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIN7K9lTCeWdAcXdHWO2BT_Ke9pUsuQ7qas0Wep7pc2gFD4Zkj-u1VamIBvB2QWCHxi-XWSMDf5sXn0JsD5EU3SXW5lJIz-yHSSl241TRMOqX_Piq9_h1OTQ_QWj9x0Q3RaFL0sbwt4w/s1600/IMG_3398.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIN7K9lTCeWdAcXdHWO2BT_Ke9pUsuQ7qas0Wep7pc2gFD4Zkj-u1VamIBvB2QWCHxi-XWSMDf5sXn0JsD5EU3SXW5lJIz-yHSSl241TRMOqX_Piq9_h1OTQ_QWj9x0Q3RaFL0sbwt4w/s1600/IMG_3398.JPG" height="149" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQv-UMqtg0ZpWMEzNkvacMpCeArfTzKTkEKcewXZn9DoDj6hjk_yY2CJJbFbsiUI4CMjKcSPGBR1SoV03UhaBS01u5ODzgSEoRnpa_NM_9-2M8vkm_ze81_9tfDRhB4LbetZ26paMltw/s1600/IMG_3432.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQv-UMqtg0ZpWMEzNkvacMpCeArfTzKTkEKcewXZn9DoDj6hjk_yY2CJJbFbsiUI4CMjKcSPGBR1SoV03UhaBS01u5ODzgSEoRnpa_NM_9-2M8vkm_ze81_9tfDRhB4LbetZ26paMltw/s1600/IMG_3432.JPG" height="149" width="200" /></a><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->10.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]-->It
would take a life time to get all the history out of the colonial states.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We were lucky to spend a day in Yorktown, VA (another not
planned trip). We spent one day at one
of its historical sites and still had not taken in all that little town has
been through. It is part of a historical
triangle (Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Yorktown) and we could easily have
stopped at each. But time just didn’t
allow it. It was our first introduction
to the rich history here on the East Coast, and gave many plans for future
visits (those towns are only 3 hours away from us!) So come visit!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisC2Dak4RO8OnUYyrtLtgz-xEw55A1df4V7SU6rzBtokgfZWLQVeOGk7K7AHk-1_3M70jMUdiiLYreePG0xXFvrjC3PT5Mc4abKiT_49BpPdLIQK6CIsdOCtjTPnvDJOkg-mmzZ4TJgA/s1600/20131230_143606.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisC2Dak4RO8OnUYyrtLtgz-xEw55A1df4V7SU6rzBtokgfZWLQVeOGk7K7AHk-1_3M70jMUdiiLYreePG0xXFvrjC3PT5Mc4abKiT_49BpPdLIQK6CIsdOCtjTPnvDJOkg-mmzZ4TJgA/s1600/20131230_143606.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnQbFOqOyaE7CIp_1HK4acV9Vnmdfyk4TDgXkHpMRssgNZRPKidfTGESBTdYtC8TE7jNlltsRwBjVMu5yGqUccHvspCeZ8xG9ZQtqa4Tjx6F23jpKHmDCcyyV2JEb4TmkMtTHE_eBi6A/s1600/20131230_152755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnQbFOqOyaE7CIp_1HK4acV9Vnmdfyk4TDgXkHpMRssgNZRPKidfTGESBTdYtC8TE7jNlltsRwBjVMu5yGqUccHvspCeZ8xG9ZQtqa4Tjx6F23jpKHmDCcyyV2JEb4TmkMtTHE_eBi6A/s1600/20131230_152755.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHJKkLyaQx5lokK6H6sd5RYGUg30BexC8PHAYH2JzdXcJ9XUhwl81TartpvkYdDmJGHLlbQ23BwelxUFBDg8nE8hsPGpfHIiSK64bw4Kt5KCzaf0HjOSYSJCMTF-c5ZNnapcWiAgtqPw/s1600/20131230_152932.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHJKkLyaQx5lokK6H6sd5RYGUg30BexC8PHAYH2JzdXcJ9XUhwl81TartpvkYdDmJGHLlbQ23BwelxUFBDg8nE8hsPGpfHIiSK64bw4Kt5KCzaf0HjOSYSJCMTF-c5ZNnapcWiAgtqPw/s1600/20131230_152932.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
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Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-47833755342450251012013-09-13T13:32:00.002-07:002013-09-13T13:32:42.357-07:00Stung<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On Monday my sister who does Cross Fit (an extreme
workout from what I can tell, but you can take a look for yourself) started a
new challenge with her class workout with a strict paleio (I have no idea how
to spell this thing…they also call it a Hunter Gather diet) diet for thirty
days. So, I jumped on the bandwagon of
diets (which I have NEVER done in my life) to see if what it would do. So far…I hate it. But, hey, you can do anything for thirty
days, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So why the diet?
I am not obese. I am not even
close to fat. And Robert thinks I’m hot, so why bother? For me, it has more to
do with how I feel about myself. I work
out five to six days a week every week and have since January. I have lost some weight, but plateaued out in
about March. Though I continually work
out and have a physically demanding job lifting weights eight hour a day on the
weekends, I would not say exercise is my problem. So diet it must be. After one week, I already hate it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On this diet you eat meat, fruits and
vegetables. If it has been processed at
all you cannot eat it. I miss milk in my coffee and texture to my food. I am so ready for the next three weeks to fly
by (especially because Robert will be back then). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the process of all this, my body has taken a
beating in my work outs, but also in the unusual way of insect
intervention. I went for a walk the
other day with my sister and her two kids through their orchards. I am in a green top and leggings, just
strolling (not even a brisk walk). All
of a sudden out of nowhere my shoulder is on fire. I think, perhaps I got caught on a branch or
something and quickly go to unhook myself, but as I move my arm begins to
radiate pain. I quickly determine I have
unknowingly walked into a hornet’s nest and that either they are threatened by
me or I blended in with their home and they thought they landed at home
base. Either way, I am no in some of the
worst pain I have been in in who knows how long. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The last time I was stung by anything was a bee and
I was five. I was playing dress up in my
mom’s clothes, as most little girls are prone to do and took a seat on the
window bench. Just sitting, all of a
sudden my left thigh is on fire and it is quickly determined I was stung by a
bee. Whoever said if you don’t bother
them they will not bother you lied. The
only times I have been stung I have done nothing, and the first time that bee
was in MY home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyway, so tears are literally streaming down my
face at this point and two babies are trying to figure out what could have
happened to cancel our walk so abruptly and why I am crying. I read once that if you don’t usually curse
and are in a lot of pain and your curse, it lessens the pain. This is the first time I have wanted to try
it out and of course there are babies around who can and do talk so I can’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My sister was a medic with the Marines and does all
the usual stuff. I take my shirt off to
get the stinger out (it must have fallen off in the fight to get home or never
came off the buggar). And because I have
never been stung by a hornet (which we decided this must be because the pain is
so intense and comes in waves) we call Urgent Care to make sure we are looking
out for the right signs…mostly because my entire arm is going numb at this
point. She puts some lavender on it
which immediately soothes the pain a little and I start icing it. But, here is the tricky thing I learned: mud
works wonders! My brother-in-law put
some mud on it and within thirty minutes the pain was significantly less (as
long as I didn’t move the arm that much) and the waves it came in lasted only a
brief moment. So, next time your stung –
mud is a miracle worker. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then last night I am coming home from rehearsal and
I am so nauseous I want to pull over to the side of the road and vomit for no
reason whatsoever. I make it home. Crawl into bed. And call Robert. You know you love someone when you feel like
crap and only want to be with them, which is exactly how I felt when I was
stung and again when I wanted to vomit. He
talked with me for a while. He thinks he
will head back to New Orleans this weekend, so we reminisced about our
trip. It was a great way to go to sleep,
even if he did succeed in getting some of my most embarrassing stories out of
me…only because he embarrassed me. That’s
love. Let’s just say he had me on
speaker without telling me and I said something for his ears only…that is
roommate heard. It wasn’t anything bad,
it was just funny looking back, but in that moment I was mortified. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Funny how life works, isn’t it? Pain makes you want to be near someone and in
the same instant you want to be in a dark cave hiding out from the embarrassment
of a quick decision. Ah, well, such is
the life of this crazy girl. You just
never know what you’re going to get. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-66504592877894255072013-09-10T16:51:00.002-07:002013-09-10T16:51:24.519-07:00The first Skype date<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the best and unexpected coffee date with V the other
day. I had worked till midnight the
night before and had to be up for work at seven a.m. I think in all, once everything was said and
done, I slept maybe four hours. So when
I got the unexpected text from her with the invitation I was tempted to decline
because I was pure exhaustion walking.
But, I said yes. And thank God I
did!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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She and I talked about everything from being an introvert to
relationships to God. I was encouraged
by her testimony, and did not even realize I needed the encouragement. Although I had four cups of coffee that day
to function, she made the rest of the night so much more pleasant. I could not have asked for a better gift from
God at that moment, and I didn’t know I needed it. V-, I can’t wait to do it again!!! And the pictures of the house look
great! <o:p></o:p></div>
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I then got to talk with Robert. He certainly was a sight for sore eyes. We have been talking via text and phone the
pass week because our schedules are so crazy, so it was nice to see him. Things get lost in communication via
technology, but we you see them again you realize how much you needed to. We
chatted about everything and nothing and he headed off to bed. Two hours later, headed to bed myself, I had
an epiphany! <o:p></o:p></div>
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You see I am a quality time kind of girl. I like going to festivals, and being outside,
and trying new things. I especially like
to do them with people I love! The
Smoots can attest to this. Well, lately, I have been doing a lot of that with my
sister and her family, which made me want to do them all the more with Robert. But, being a country away makes that
difficult. So, you can imagine we are in
need of a date. But how do you have a
date when you are so far apart?
Conundrum. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s when I was hit with an epiphany. Why not play a card game over Skype? He went out and bought a deck for the occasion
and I borrowed one from my sister. We
played Go Fish. Yes, I know it is a kid’s
game, but it was perfect for us! As each
person got a pair we told the other so they could take it out of their own
deck. We played for two hours and talked
about the stress in my life and he made me laugh…so hard!!! It was just what I needed…and I will venture
to say what he needed as well. So, I am
now open for ideas on how to have a date with someone over Skype. Please let me know any that come to
mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One of the things we discussed was my frustration and fear
that I will never get that coveted “Big Girl” job. And Robert encouraged me that I would find
it, that I would love it, and that there is already something new happening in
my life. He had hope for me last night,
which I needed. This morning, my verse
of the day was, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” (Isaiah 43:19…from one of my favorite
books!) Ok God, I hear you. Thank you for using V-, Robert and my verse
of the day to remind me of this powerful truth.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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And now, with a new light of hope and determination, I am
going to attempt to have a date playing the game of Life with him…we’ll see how
that goes. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-54485685210386295852013-09-08T17:19:00.005-07:002013-09-08T17:19:54.016-07:00Divine Appointments<div class="MsoNormal">
I am in the middle of working three weeks straight, with no
weekends. I am tired. I have been tired all week, but God continues
to call me to His divine appointments. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Remember Nick? Well,
his situation has gotten worse and God keeps telling me to care. So, this week I put my actions were my words
are. I had coffee with him. Now before any of you jump to conclusions
(because that is the kind of world we live in) Robert knows all about it and
knew about it before it happened and is well aware of the conversations we
had. But, here is what happened. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When you know someone for twenty years it give you some privileges
to do and say certain things that in normal situations you wouldn’t. It also gives you a boldness you might not
otherwise have when calling someone out.
But, there is a fine line between holding someone accountable and
helping someone who is hurting. So, I
started at the beginning…where he was.
What did he need from a friend that would help and not hurt him? First, he needed an ear, which I was more
than happy to give. He was honest about
his mistakes and how the mistakes of others have affected him and his
family. I let him vent, without putting
in my two cents (which if you know me at all was REALLY difficult). <o:p></o:p></div>
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The second thing he needed was to be held accountable. Lucky for me I have been his accountability
partner for a couple of things, and believe that all our brothers and sisters
in Christ should hold each other accountable.
So, I boldly went forward. I told
him he needed to be surrounded by Christian friends, and that meant, he had to
go where he knew they and God were, i.e church.
Now, that doesn’t mean he has to come to my church, but he needs to be
where God is. But more importantly, he
needs to be listening to God. Don’t get
me wrong, I think there is a time and place to express your frustration at God
(like you would with any a friend…he does call us friend you know) and to
express your anger at life. But, if all
you do is talk, you are not growing in your relationship. Just like any other relationship, there must
be a dialogue with God. That means
sometimes we have to shut our mouths and listen. He, at least in my experience, doesn’t
usually speak audible, but God will use people, music, books, games, etc. to communicate
with us. We just have to close our
mouths and open our ears. Sometimes, it
takes a friend of twenty years who has gone through the ringer with you to
remind you of this. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, he did not go to church today, but he at least is open to the idea of looking beyond himself
and moving forward to a brighter future.
But the conversation was good healing for me too. We both came to a place of good friendship
again, forgiving the other of wrongs done.
Forgiving is so big. It is
amazing what it covers and what healing it brings. If you have never forgiven someone who has
really hurt you, honest to goodness deeply, I cannot begin to express how
powerful a thing it is in for you personally and for the relationship. I highly recommend it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, divinely placed coffee date…yep. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-90631758487679737722013-08-28T19:41:00.000-07:002013-08-28T19:41:07.894-07:00Strange things happen in these here woods<div class="MsoNormal">
Busy as ever, I have had quite an extraordinarily good
couple days. I have seen old friends,
visited new places and enjoyed some wonderful quality time with Robert (well as
quality as you get over Skype and through mail). But let’s start with Sunday. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I have come to the realization that I am so blessed by friends. How God is able to restore relationships is
beyond me, but I am glad He does. My
high school sweet heart married a wonderful woman almost a decade ago. We all went through a really rough patch and
did not speak for years. About three
years ago, God did something miraculous, He reconnected us. I am now friends with both of them, but I am
much more blessed by his beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful wife. V- you are an inspiration and a
blessing. Nothing will ever change
that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
That is a long introduction to the following
experience. I texted V- the other night
to see if she wanted to get together for coffee. I miss her and now that she is in the same
state and same general vicinity I would like to do this more. She and I ended up talking about Robert (as
girls do). She asked how I felt about
our relationship and where things were going and I expressed my trepidation of
some of the things happening but that I was mostly overjoyed and excited to be
with him. That’s when she said, that is
the best way to know if you can be serious with someone, along with some other
really great advice. And as wonderful as
that conversation was (and it was really wonderful), what brought joy unspeakable
to my heart was that she asked to host a Bon Voyage party for me (I am moving
across country in November). What a
beautiful expression of love and friendship!!
How blessed I am by a God who saves me and reunites and rebuilds
relationships!!! I can’t wait to move,
but I will miss having her close by (but the phone calls and texts will
continue V-). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert sent me this wonderful package in the mail. Complete with an Air Force sweater I have
been trying to hunt down, a couple really beautiful sun hats, and a beautiful
box. He is such a blessing to me. I have never been this spoiled or happy with
a guy, and I am so glad it is with a man of integrity, brains, and a sense of
humor. I have laughed more with him than
anyone I know. These are examples of his
great taste.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6XlItQD-oL2RwQeI4CMF3nxs6RDTLDCLG3L-_tJnRNLpQRX2h8Pj2tATxuGctvtbNsDQubGp7RDz5moFwHle1vWf3g8EoHNWCIILvKB1cj40xMR9c0F9zuTKAFosC2l65e2T-PMZdPw/s1600/IMG_1652.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6XlItQD-oL2RwQeI4CMF3nxs6RDTLDCLG3L-_tJnRNLpQRX2h8Pj2tATxuGctvtbNsDQubGp7RDz5moFwHle1vWf3g8EoHNWCIILvKB1cj40xMR9c0F9zuTKAFosC2l65e2T-PMZdPw/s1600/IMG_1652.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAGAyPmmArl_3muZl4blWDp9QddMbHXoA1QqzWeR8WQpiIlfgNJJZCzgq68BymIFk8wCELQKhSsEGvEtKaLrLz9TF0-IFJOs1Nb2tlVR-l2ahIEo_Saz4a2eCWk6yRWJOTxh2tPDVdbA/s1600/IMG_1651.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAGAyPmmArl_3muZl4blWDp9QddMbHXoA1QqzWeR8WQpiIlfgNJJZCzgq68BymIFk8wCELQKhSsEGvEtKaLrLz9TF0-IFJOs1Nb2tlVR-l2ahIEo_Saz4a2eCWk6yRWJOTxh2tPDVdbA/s1600/IMG_1651.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWkqsYUsfEZzMZlhQwnTEgIREAuIi36jJ7Qb0ia9MsQ3tfrAB4wBBfcoGjwOpzsRCRICWkSGm4ZQKOBvGFww3czKlkLMdgYVLRG6UYt98sOzvwoFd2P2YTdXfkqH5g-fLdtUfNRR4Yvw/s1600/IMG_1650.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWkqsYUsfEZzMZlhQwnTEgIREAuIi36jJ7Qb0ia9MsQ3tfrAB4wBBfcoGjwOpzsRCRICWkSGm4ZQKOBvGFww3czKlkLMdgYVLRG6UYt98sOzvwoFd2P2YTdXfkqH5g-fLdtUfNRR4Yvw/s1600/IMG_1650.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
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That night, I finally fell asleep around midnight. My phone is set to Do Not Disturb so that I
am not kept awake or awoken by unnecessary calls. If you call me twice in a row within 3
minutes, my phone will ring it through as an emergency…this did not
happen. At 12:30 a.m. I was awoken by a
pounding on my door. The only reason I
answered it was because the person yelling new my name, and I assumed if you
know my name, and where I am staying on this grand property it is probably
because you know me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
It being the middle of the night, I through on a covering to
find my brother-in-law and a policeman at my door. Apparently, the alarm of the house went off
and no one new why. If you don’t already
know, I was embarrassed to be seen in my sleepwear – even with a covering – and
so was my brother-in-law. Sorry. So, I spent the next hour having the cops
comb through the property to make sure nothing was out of place and no one was
there who should not have been. You want
to know what set the stupid alarm off? A
wasp!!! A wasp set off the motion
sensors. Who knew? But, all was set right and I finally fell
asleep about 2:30 in the morning to be up in just a few hours. Funny and embarrassing, but good to know my
family was willing to risk life to make sure I was ok. That is a blessing few can say they have, and
I thank God for it daily. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Monday, I took my sister and her kids to Tony’s fruit stand
off of highway 70. There, my good friend
Y- runs the fruit stand and everything there is addicting. Don’t believe me? Ask anyone from the <a href="http://oneworship.com/">ONE Worship Team</a> in LA at
In His Presence Church, I am pretty sure they will testify to the goodness of
what they ate at Easter. Also, check out
their music on itunes. At this fruit
stand there are some really neat signs, but the coolest part was the port-o-potty. I kid you not, it was the nicest smelling and
looking one I have EVER seen in my life!!!!
Check out the fruit, but don’t forget to check out this great place to
relieve yourself. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The lot of us then headed to Bidwell Park in Chico (I had
never been!) CSU, Chico is located on
this park, so you can imagine the immensity of it. But, the neat thing I saw that they took the
river and, following its course, made it into a sort of pool for a little
bit. The kids played in it, discovered
dragon files, and all in all had a great day.
We even made some friends to have a play date with later. What a beautiful day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Yesterday, we took the kids to Ellis Lake in
Marysville. Ellis Lake is a man-made
lake that was built during the Great Depression in order to provide jobs. It
has since become known for being filthy (they have pulled entire cars out of
it) and for having quite a few ducks. We
thought it would be fun to take my niece and nephew to feed said ducks. When we got there, the ducks were overrun
with geese – honkers (my high school mascot).
I don’t know if you know this, but honkers are mean!!! And they pack a pretty nasty bite!!! </div>
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Well, we get the kids out to feed the ducks
and it is not two minutes before a honker bites my niece because she can’t feed
it fast enough. The irony is that at
that very moment a couple locals were coming by to warn us not to feed them
because they are so mean. We ended up
putting the kids onto of the car to through the bread. In the process we discover
a honker with a broken wing and a man asking for a cigarette from us (the
people with two kids who in all likelihood don’t smoke, much less if we did let
you near us to give you one because we had kids) who quite literally was
wearing a snake…the head of which was free to roam!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the paper we discovered a community leader found himself in
a scandal and the next day a school teacher was arrested for meth. Small towns apparently are the new places for
drama…someone tell Warner Brothers or Fox…there is a reality TV show here
waiting to happen. Sad that small towns
now have big town problems. But it is
also a reminder of where our morals as a community and country are and what it
means to stand by them. It is a slow
fade to make decisions such as these. A
slow fade. When we do not surround
ourselves with good people and arm ourselves with the truth we are only opening
ourselves up to the slow fade. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, small town problems aside, I would say this has been a
very special and blessed week. More to
come. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-6270492915325549222013-08-28T18:37:00.002-07:002013-08-28T18:37:19.567-07:00Crisis<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a story in the Bible of a young king who was called
“one after God’s own heart” who fell hard.
One night, he was out on his balcony and looked over to see a young lady
bathing. He fell in such lust for her,
he sent her beau out to the front lines of war to die so he could have her to
himself. But, the young knight lived and
the act of adultery had already been done.
The king who had been known for his faith in God, his wise decisions and
great military capability lost his reputation and the trust of his people over
night. The story of King David has been
told multiple times throughout history in both story and song (ever hear the
song <i>Hallelujah</i>?)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Normally, in my life this has always just been a story, but
no longer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my mentors and friends has found himself in this very
predicament and with his standing in the community could easily be equated to
the King of the town. The sad part is
that after decades of service, his reputation has been tarnished because of one
lustful act. What is worse, is that his
actions do not just affect his career and family, it affects the entire
community. He has served in places of
leadership from church positions to community organizations to coaching. All those lives he touched are affected by
the decision. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As much as this is a tale of tragedy, and it is, it brings
to question a very complicated faith point of view. As a Believer, I am called to love the sinner
– gay, prostitute, liar, murder, etc. In
this case, how do I put that into practice?
How do I help this man and his family who has so often been a help and pinnacle
of faith to the community? The simple
answer is prayer. Although I believe
that to be true, I do not think that is the only thing to do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you live in a small town like this and the actions of
one have such overreaching arms, it is hard not to think of his wife going
grocery shopping and getting the sympathetic looks to her face but the snickers
and whispers behind her back, or his daughters feeling like they no longer have
a home of comfort and trust to come back to, or the man himself knowing he has
to make some pretty tough decisions to potentially step down from programs he
has dedicated his life to. How do you
help the family through such sad situations and not condone the sin? How do you stand by the people and help while
not casting the first stone? After all,
we all mess up. We all sin. Our sins by definition affect others
too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The answer is I have no answer. I am saddened by the choice that was
made. I am saddened by the community
response to it. I am saddened by the
pain and hurt that was caused. But, I am
hopeful. I am hopeful that like the
crowd that wanted to stone a woman who was caught in adultery, we will all
remember that “he who has not sinned should cast the first stone.” I am hopeful that rebuilding and unity will
be accomplished in His timing. God is a
healer of more than the body and mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you read this friend, (yes friend because that is what
you and your family has always been and your one stupid action – because that
is what it was – does not change that) I want you to know that God loves
you. We love you. This is not the end of everything, though it
may look like it. This is only the beginning. King David is remembered as a great king and
is the king in which Jesus our Lord descends.
God uses all things for good for those who are in Christ Jesus, which I
believe you are. God still has a purpose
for you and your family. I don’t know
how to be a support to you or your family, and I don’t condone what you did,
but I am here if you can think of a way I can help. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-75626469726209151652013-08-27T21:04:00.003-07:002013-08-27T21:04:53.278-07:00Busy weeks with simple lessons<div class="MsoNormal">
This past week I have been none stop busy. I have spent some time with my niece and
nephew who live out of town, went to the zoo, and experienced some good lesson
learning. But, let’s get to the cute stuff.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My nephew Collin is a little thing with some big
attitude. He is smart and witty. And only three. My sister and he nephew came to visit the
other day and I went in to say “hello.”
As usual, Collin did not want to say hi, but his kid sister Kaylynn did. So I give my smooches to her and then head
over to Collin (the introvert I think).
He needs help seeing up, so I pick him up and start talking to him. He sees what he wants and want down. Our conversation goes something like this: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I want down.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But, I would like a hug and a hello please.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, I think your cute, so maybe I will eat you breakfast.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
“No.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, how about, I squish and love you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, what can I do?”<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You could get me a treat.” He says with this mischievous
smile. Apparently, his parents are
working with him on moderation. Treat
came from Grandpa so I did not have to worry about. Lesson 1: Kids are way smarter than you think. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF4eybAKa49Fzz1RtP1uCETpe8UusImgHz9mSZm54YLT3dJRWnX8QXOXPWDTTd7QOrfIPRSdMZGoUeHElGWiXsanOyLaKGgwNffwJ7DuZVTkN1-xKDf0GiRxEtCFWOgwNh0N_2NY4AWA/s1600/IMG_1455.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF4eybAKa49Fzz1RtP1uCETpe8UusImgHz9mSZm54YLT3dJRWnX8QXOXPWDTTd7QOrfIPRSdMZGoUeHElGWiXsanOyLaKGgwNffwJ7DuZVTkN1-xKDf0GiRxEtCFWOgwNh0N_2NY4AWA/s1600/IMG_1455.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjslWnaExS3iBvBF1Jwj7gwAzq7K472vfQN0xMrrsob_YptK3LRJ4KguNOL_5J_s7XFuOq1O9XMMtGJMQWM9mLHUXK8vXewLbjP7SIG1590gow2xS10plNYExzZDTpyO8Is_OURPMQo5g/s1600/IMG_1456.MOV" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjslWnaExS3iBvBF1Jwj7gwAzq7K472vfQN0xMrrsob_YptK3LRJ4KguNOL_5J_s7XFuOq1O9XMMtGJMQWM9mLHUXK8vXewLbjP7SIG1590gow2xS10plNYExzZDTpyO8Is_OURPMQo5g/s1600/IMG_1456.MOV" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grandpa had to help Collin figure out how to pick an orange for a tree...it was so funny. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That afternoon, he comes in to watch <i>Walle</i> with me. He crawls
onto the couch, under the blanket I am using and we chit chat about the
movie. Then about half way through he
looks at me all serious and says, “We have to watch movies in moderation.” How do you not lightheartedly laugh at that
cuteness?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWdNRkbfFxB0l6UQZXc91Shf0GwBE1FkVEHxPoBDKDZpfauIP8u1evg8BzAJFleF5BzeQTgbnPDS2bNItfZOC9OqqiZkqPc_tUe2o4EfrA7-CNM-PpZhDsLwH33TI5YsY1XqQpSwCk8A/s1600/IMG_1466.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWdNRkbfFxB0l6UQZXc91Shf0GwBE1FkVEHxPoBDKDZpfauIP8u1evg8BzAJFleF5BzeQTgbnPDS2bNItfZOC9OqqiZkqPc_tUe2o4EfrA7-CNM-PpZhDsLwH33TI5YsY1XqQpSwCk8A/s1600/IMG_1466.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a>I finally caved and got my hair cut. I even got it layered, but we will get to
that part in a second. I go into this
thinking all I am going to do is get a trim. I end up getting a deep
conditioning and a cut (for only $16, not bad).
The girl who comes up to me has a VERY bad a-line cut (I find out latter
one of the other stylists practiced on her).
I think to myself, anyone but her.
But, God heard me and laughed.
She did my deep conditioning and then asks if I want a magazine to read
while I wait for the conditioner to do its magic. Not being one who reads them, I said sure and
surprise me with which one you pick. She
surprised me with this: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I laughed out loud and immediately texted Robert. His response was, “Well, if you were looking
for signs.” Interesting choice…and I
have now thought more about a wedding than I ever did with my previous fiancé. The very next day Robert tells me his roommate
called him out for telling one of his class buddies that he should not have
gotten engaged…roommate’s word: “Please, you know that will be you in a few
months.” More signs…if you read them I
guess. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk64fI-pvGwHjLM7xUhLGx-ppakBGi258brQ3QuLAFUMpTnk4h7ObSRvRdtn006ACQjrivTzYfojrJUQw_mi_Dr4byA4PSlPHhUq_ZTDC45CfQsGUJXxrulPX3IeGBnHc_2c4bpIyfpw/s1600/IMG_1467.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk64fI-pvGwHjLM7xUhLGx-ppakBGi258brQ3QuLAFUMpTnk4h7ObSRvRdtn006ACQjrivTzYfojrJUQw_mi_Dr4byA4PSlPHhUq_ZTDC45CfQsGUJXxrulPX3IeGBnHc_2c4bpIyfpw/s1600/IMG_1467.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>Anyway, this girl turned out to be quite capable so when she
asked if I wanted layers my usual knee-jerk reaction of “no” did not come out.
Instead I said, “I really like my length and that I can do an up-do in less
than seven minutes. Please do layers so
minuscule that I can still do that it looks good.” Which, she did beautifully. She was also really funny…but she was more
interested in my not-happening wedding than I was (no, Robert has not proposed…sorry
to all my readers who are eagerly awaiting such things). But, here is a bad
picture of what it looks like:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lesson 2: Don't judge a book by its cover.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We took my niece and nephew to the Sacramento Zoo (I have
now been to all of California’s zoos in one year). We got to pet some beautiful animals and
almost fed giraffes...next time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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My good friend Vivian came to visit. I actually learned a lot about Yuba City high
society – that would be anyone who shops on Plumas Street in Downtown. We have a great winery, some beautiful décor shops,
and a really great used book store (though that is more off a side street than
on the main street in general). She and
I window shopped for nothing in particular and I learned I have a keen eye for décor. At least according to Robert, so I will now
be taking applications to design your home.
Some pieces I liked are:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QPlwGS1YSN8yzPpOtpYc_VIORyfsJAOvr_7MhskctTt_4LQ8PBHXU7Wjm5sbcX86rd8hRR8K52sH-Symqh8v2JYCNo8duzIi91sDNhUYSeHxzVhEW-N81O_l-xXmPBbnYM8TyRpS5g/s1600/IMG_1580.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QPlwGS1YSN8yzPpOtpYc_VIORyfsJAOvr_7MhskctTt_4LQ8PBHXU7Wjm5sbcX86rd8hRR8K52sH-Symqh8v2JYCNo8duzIi91sDNhUYSeHxzVhEW-N81O_l-xXmPBbnYM8TyRpS5g/s1600/IMG_1580.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Xkd3pOxBpcZelIjaqnYcZRX8Vh_yRlQ0_dL2fQrYd7z_JIO7YbMUqLb50dOJPMUz6jFY1qqRvjnSKRthJDN4YEDPu0GPJcoGXBG18F7v3b3lSCjqy_zqvPrB29oT5MIHuqEkexCXzg/s1600/IMG_1588.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Xkd3pOxBpcZelIjaqnYcZRX8Vh_yRlQ0_dL2fQrYd7z_JIO7YbMUqLb50dOJPMUz6jFY1qqRvjnSKRthJDN4YEDPu0GPJcoGXBG18F7v3b3lSCjqy_zqvPrB29oT5MIHuqEkexCXzg/s1600/IMG_1588.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbbr-Z9zBdd3BAz621pd50MsSLIU9qS-ycyllVFl7jnDJaliu-nilDbGovopFYyecvI29wNuSstLTa5V8uclGZ0B_PY044zj7nlgIW7NphTWnIaTlctE7htrL1gfLqARVVz1qrxNb-Mw/s1600/IMG_1589.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbbr-Z9zBdd3BAz621pd50MsSLIU9qS-ycyllVFl7jnDJaliu-nilDbGovopFYyecvI29wNuSstLTa5V8uclGZ0B_PY044zj7nlgIW7NphTWnIaTlctE7htrL1gfLqARVVz1qrxNb-Mw/s1600/IMG_1589.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHWRBC04ArOKDOEoVAbC6cEYfeqHokOC1i9aJTCwhiKUyB_9BKuzj9fIJDkh_pyLt41E4Bkncu-5NE5vi_gX0iHkYFKSGLbMZA-HPJjzcrvF1A-h3o_ZioksKpqIceX21-VY6Fmealew/s1600/IMG_1591.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHWRBC04ArOKDOEoVAbC6cEYfeqHokOC1i9aJTCwhiKUyB_9BKuzj9fIJDkh_pyLt41E4Bkncu-5NE5vi_gX0iHkYFKSGLbMZA-HPJjzcrvF1A-h3o_ZioksKpqIceX21-VY6Fmealew/s1600/IMG_1591.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyhPXXuLjqYjCGVT17GOM3zGxje0zpeDzXpFQrKn64XUWhgWxhbqVYMtz0nWmFCatnN5vX8vhWhEz4Z4ixN4mou-GCzyWgaYEQeDgz7CpHkQ1f1l5UjO_fvHGWbn24-fqoYdybq3s22Q/s1600/IMG_1583.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyhPXXuLjqYjCGVT17GOM3zGxje0zpeDzXpFQrKn64XUWhgWxhbqVYMtz0nWmFCatnN5vX8vhWhEz4Z4ixN4mou-GCzyWgaYEQeDgz7CpHkQ1f1l5UjO_fvHGWbn24-fqoYdybq3s22Q/s1600/IMG_1583.JPG" height="149" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Winery in Yuba City...super stylish and GREAT wine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lesson 3: Small towns are bigger than they appear.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lesson 4: We still discover skills later in life. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert’s birthday was Sunday. Everyone wish him a happy birthday. I sent him a care package of some books, some
chocolate covered pomegranates (yes they make that!), some energy drinks, some homemade
peach jam, and the best ever Cookie Tree cookies!!!! He thoroughly enjoyed them…can’t you tell?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYPjhr27ekuG7AKCYfUncydgc8qVtAK34Jwq2HGCxQ_WqF4NOHkS5_ynfND3aD_T82V6qtF02uY1bxqzBaJdi7Mc-OXnr0PjXK0XJ2CpeU-uXUkIv9uJlJm0KFMpqWne9h0oCbHzHLhw/s1600/IMG_1573.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYPjhr27ekuG7AKCYfUncydgc8qVtAK34Jwq2HGCxQ_WqF4NOHkS5_ynfND3aD_T82V6qtF02uY1bxqzBaJdi7Mc-OXnr0PjXK0XJ2CpeU-uXUkIv9uJlJm0KFMpqWne9h0oCbHzHLhw/s1600/IMG_1573.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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All of this happened while juggling three jobs and trying to
find a real one in Maryland. Any ideas
are welcome. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-84173270135366871812013-08-27T19:57:00.003-07:002013-08-27T19:57:47.873-07:00What I want to be when I grown up...<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember when you were a kid and you were asked, “What do
you want to be when you grow up?” Some
kids answered doctor, lawyer, rock star, police man. I answered actor…until I was told I had ugly
elbows (to this day I think they are the worst thing on my body). Then I wanted to be a Navy Seal…until I was
told I couldn't because I was girl. I
still think they have the coolest job ever.
Then I decide on President of the United States…until I discovered what
that actually meant – stress, stress and more stress and looking like a haggard
mess after just four years much less eight (I still want to be beautiful when I
am old thank you very much…and domestic politics is not nearly as interesting
as foreign). Last week my answer would be to be a diplomat, hopefully an
ambassador, but my answer has changed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have three jobs now and by this Saturday will have worked
fifteen days in a row. Sunday after work
I watched the movie <i>Trainspotting</i> (a recommendation
from two of my brothers that I hated!!!)
So, to get my mind back I searched Netflix for something more cheerful
and stumbled upon the movie <i>This is Our
Time</i>. It is a tale about five
college graduates entering the real world.
Four of the five find themselves in the places they believe they should
be in their careers right out of the gate while the fifth one (the one I relate
to and will be referred to as Connector in this blog) has been denied graduate
school and is stuck serving sandwiches at his dad’s shop. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Naturally, Connector is frustrated feeling like he wasted
his time and money on a degree that is useless to him. He feels left behind as he watches his
friends move forward in life and in love and he remains on the sidelines. In his bearing of his heart to his mentor he
discovers that perhaps, God places us on the sidelines for such a time as
this. What a way to hit home for
me. But my lessons in this movie did not
end there. Oh, no. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later, one of the characters dies and in the going through
of remaining articles, the group discovers what she thought of them. His description was connector. He was the writer, the one who could see
people for what they are, not what they present to the world. He was the glue that held the group together
and connected people to who they truly are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert had just finished telling me that I do good in the
lives of so many, even though I do not see it.
Hearing this, it was as if God was telling me that my unique skills and
talents will accomplish tasks, but an occupation is not what He called me
to. You’ve hear that term before, “calling.”
“God called me to Africa,” “God called me to be a singer.” Well, my whole life I have been waiting for
this calling. I have watched as my
siblings new from a young age their “calling” – lawyer, stay at home mom,
singer. I never had that feeling. My feeling was to be a history maker…there is
no college degree that can prepare you for that (Abraham Lincoln was self-educated…never
got a formal education). But somehow, I missed this lesson. <o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What I learned was that my calling is not to an
occupation. That question: What do you
want to be when you grow up? we interpret that wrong. It is not about occupation and employment, it
is about character. I want to be
good. I want to be generous. I want to be humble. I want to kind. I want to be compassionate. If all of this is in place, God will use the
unique skills, talents and abilities he has granted me in my employment whether
that is as a banquet server, a nanny, or an ambassador or officer.</span>Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-20837726249552273312013-08-15T11:34:00.001-07:002013-08-15T11:34:15.301-07:00Simple blessings“I am not skilled to understand what God has willed what God has planned. I only know at His right hand stands one who is my Savior.” Aaron Shust<br />
<br />
Blessings come in many sizes and packages. This week I have been blessed abundantly. No, I do not have my dream job, or even a job in the field…yet. But I have found joy in the simple things.<br />
<br />
Sunday I had such a good experience at church, I just had to share it with Robert. We set up a much needed Skype session (thank God for the part of technology) and I explained how much I enjoy singing worship and hearing from God. I got really excited when he said he would like to come to church with me. That kind of joy can’t be shared in its truest form by just discussing it, it has to be experienced. I am so excited to share that part of my life with him. <br />
<br />
I talked with Robert this week about a dream I have. Some of you know I want to see the end of human trafficking in my life time (at least in the US). But, I also have a passion to help where it is really bad – the Congo. In the Congo 90% of girls are sexually mutilated (not just assaulted) by the time they are 3 years old!! Evidence shows that one of the best ways to curb this is to educate. I do not mean educate girls about how to protect themselves, but to educate period. Math. Science. English. Reading. Writing. All of it. When this happens, the children of the abusers/traffickers go to school and become friends with those would-be victims. This relationship makes it more difficult for the aggressors to kidnap, attack, etc.<br />
<br />
So, I want to open a school in the Congo. I want to also attach a clinic where students can be safe and get the help they need physically. There are few doctors who can fix the kind of damage these girls receive when the have been mutilated with all sorts of tools and weapons. Many die from lack of treatment. It is a terrible place they are in and we can help. <br />
<br />
As I was telling Robert this he surprised me. Most men say, “Oh, that’s great but it is unrealistic. You will never come close to that,” or, “Oh, how naïve you are!” Robert’s response was, “I don’t know how to help you. But, if all I can do is pass out clean water and send them to you for education and learning about God, then that’s what I’ll do.” That is a sign of support from a good guy. How blessed I am! I cannot wait for this dream to become a reality, but knowing that I have his support, makes it all the more exciting. <br />
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Monday I was so blessed to not just talk to my nieces and nephews in Texas, but to Skype them. Oh, how I miss them! Keira showed me the new house and has grown into such a young lady in only a few months. She is beautiful and poise. Gianna has gotten so big! She bragged about sleeping on the top bunk, and she speech has just developed so well. Khristian is so popular! He has already made friends with the entire neighborhood (and school hasn’t even started yet!) I can’t wait to see him play some b-ball…he has this incredible innate talent. Kadin is walking!!!!!! He is so big and cuddly. I miss him. Kole, my sweet little mischievous friend, took the phone and liked to play with me by walking into the dark closet and back out to save me from the darkness. Then he monkeyed around and hung upside down with his curly-cue long hair and commented on his ability to change how it looked, and turned the phone upside down to show that I could be upside down too. I miss dancing and singing with him. He is getting so big. Thank you for sharing them with me Tausha and Jason. <br />
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That morning I went to Roseville to play in this giant jungle gym called Wackey Tackey. I have been to tons of these things with my nieces and nephews, but this is one of the best ones I have seen. They had ball pits, jungle gyms, shooting balls, giant balls, and everything was tall enough for the adults to accompany the kids on. The only down fall is there was poor security. But if you are an active parent, this would be a great place to take the kids – especially in extreme heat and down pouring rain. <br />
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My kid sister’s baby girl surprises me every time I see her. She is so cute and happy. She had fun trying to keep up with her older cousins. Collin was just so energetic! I think he did the entire place in ten minutes and still had fun for another two hours replaying everything. It was so fun to watch the eldest, Kolby, playing with the kids. He did everything from throwing balls at the kids (when appropriate) to helping them climb, to chasing them around. It was so fun to watch.<br />
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We then ate at this terrible hot dog place on the way home. I would tell you the name but I can’t remember. In a tight pinch on time, it wasn’t bad. The customer service was actually quite amazing! But the hot dogs were less than appetizing. Since nothing else was near, we settled there and had a good time of fellowship with the kids. <br />
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I spent the Tuesday morning at the park with my nieces and nephews – climbing up the jungle gym like a champ I might add! And then I was so blessed to see the movie <i>Planes</i> Tuesday. We stopped by Jamba Juice because they are doing a promotion of <i>Planes</i> cups for kids smoothies and then took the kids. This movie is significantly better than the <i>Cars</i> movie, in my opinion. It teaches good lessons like lying catches up to you and hurts people, face your fears and always do good – even when life looks bad. It was so fun to take the kids. When I told Robert I saw <i>Planes</i> I also told him he would enjoy it. His response, “Oh, I see them all the time. Where did you go, on base or Sacramento?” Oh what is lost in text! I had to share that smile with the world. Air Force on the brain, which is good, but I hope you get a chance to see it on your down time. You will really like it, hon. <br />
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David, my kid brother, and I did a google hangout session yesterday – he is they only one I know who uses it. For those of you who don’t know, it is a type of Skype. We chatted about nothing and everything and enjoyed just joshing with each other. I hope you are enjoying your day off today, though I still think you should come visit me. Then I was blessed with my boss giving me today off. <br />
<br />
Simple lesson: find joy in the small things and the big things seem less daunting. I don’t have my dream job, but I am closer (pray this most recent application comes to something please). I am heading in the right direction and know that God has a plan. That’s all that matters. Doing God’s will even when I don’t have the answers…which is usually. And still He provides and still He loves and still I am blessed. <br />
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Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-29033337020305076532013-08-11T15:03:00.002-07:002013-08-11T15:03:20.080-07:00Hard Lessons<div class="MsoNormal">
So busy this week. When He provides, it pours. Where to begin? First, I apologize for the long time between
posts, I am working with a new schedule and need to rework when I do things
like Bible study and writing. So, why
the new schedule? <o:p></o:p></div>
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This past week I have been flooded with rejection letters
from places I know I would excel at and have been continually frustrated with
the process. At one point on Tuesday I
had received four rejection letters (I would receive another two the following
days). I was so frustrated and scared
about finances. Fear overwhelmed
me. I cried out to God, and not in the
nice holy way I have been taught to. I wailed at Him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Father, I have followed your will. I have done what you asked. I have gone where you called. I followed the rules. Why must you continually forget me?! Why have you ignored my prayers?! I am tired and scared and feel
abandoned! Give me a break!! I need a break!!! I can’t handle always doing
well and never going anywhere. I know
you have provided me a house to live in and a car to drive, but you continually
close doors of employment! I search and
apply and have for four years!! I am
tired of the rejection for no good reason!!!
You promised abundantly more than I could ask for, yet do not provide
the job to take care of my bills!!!! I
NEED you to come through for me! My
faith is weak and it is my fault. This
past week I have not been in communion with you, but I need you to show
up! Help!!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I cried out and screamed and threw a tantrum. It was awful.
Not the way to address the King and Creator of the Universe. I went on this way for at least an hour. It was not my best moment. To top it off, my internet gave out and I had
to restart applications that take forever to fill out. So, I jumped into the Word thinking perhaps
He would speak to me, but he didn’t.
About an hour later, my sister called with a job offer – part time but
it will pay my bills. Praise the Father
in Heaven. God is good even when I am
not! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Unfortunately, this was not my only learning experience this
week. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCL2TSYcSPTkX8Xhd_fGrNcrB15PBZbl_TnkSypHahozk49SfgMvDJchXFGkTjWksYr-rWtZYkCF6yUoJCEMVMJa2wTNXFI0q3IxLIRpqeqWG6L8gyIon0uOUQ5A9Hvc4iMflA4fFkJA/s1600/IMG_1165.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCL2TSYcSPTkX8Xhd_fGrNcrB15PBZbl_TnkSypHahozk49SfgMvDJchXFGkTjWksYr-rWtZYkCF6yUoJCEMVMJa2wTNXFI0q3IxLIRpqeqWG6L8gyIon0uOUQ5A9Hvc4iMflA4fFkJA/s200/IMG_1165.JPG" width="149" /></a>I went my niece and nephew to the Sacramento Children’s
Museum (did you know they have one?) I
thought it was going to be more like the Exploratorium but it turned out to be
more like an indoor play place complete with painting on the walls and water to
play in. They were so cute! By the end of the day they were both so tired
it was like they were zombies. Super
cute. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was blessed to be able to go to the San Francisco Zoo on
Thursday. I saw some amazing animals,
and now can say I have been to every zoo in California. I got to see my niece and nephew enjoy
animals, touch wondering goats and sheep.
I missed my nephew Kole a lot through the experience. He really enjoys animals, especially dinosaurs
and turtles. I took pictures of them for
him, even though he could not experience them with me. I miss him something awful!<br />
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But, I got to see Rylyn and Liam enjoy the Macaws and other
exotic birds that could fly freely in the Birds of Paradise display and touch
the salt crystal in the whale display (don’t ask why there was salt crystal
with a whale display on loan from the Mexican consulate…it has nothing to do
with whales). We saw polar bears and
lions and cheetahs and had a great time. </div>
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<o:p></o:p>I then went to a Thirty One meeting (a purse and organization
line that my sister sells). I think I
will start selling it…so keep your eyes open to start organizing your houses,
classes, students, dancers, athletes, and beach days better. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Friday I babysat for my sister and then went home to get
into a good fight with Robert. It
happened like any other fight, it was a miscommunication. We yelled.
It was frustrating and most people would have ended the relationship
after a first fight. But, we both
learned a lot about each other, and Robert actually taught me something about
me through it. He taught me that I speak
more negatively than positively about people in my life and I did not realize
it. I love the people in my life,
friends and family, but sometimes to de-stress I vent to him what is going on
in my life. But how can I expect him to
be excited to meet these important people, if I never share the good stuff with
him? Smart man, and completely
right. So, I then spent about an hour
going through the important people in my life and telling him all the good
things. It really opens your eyes when
the people you love tell you truths like that – I never would have realized
it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And the best part about a fight is that you know if you can
be with that person. It is easy to be
with someone when life is easy, when you don’t agree it is a lot more
difficult. If dating is for finding a
mate, and I believe it is, then you have to realize you will fight and life
gets harder not easier when you add a new person into the mix. So, without a fight, you don’t really know if
you can handle being with a person. It
sounds weird, but I was actually happy after the fight. We were able to resolve it, we were able to
learn from it, we were able to communicate better. Sometimes the blessing is in the pain – in this
case, without the fight I would not have learned about my communication style
and he would not have learned about me. These
are important blessings. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I started my second job as a banquet server last night. I enjoyed a friendly staff and good people. I
served snow cones and cotton candy to kids at a carnival with a friend who did
face painting. God provided. I got sun sick, really sick, complete with
migraine and nausea. It was awful, but
my amazing boyfriend, checked in on me and encouraged me in my first day and in
my future with employment better suited to my unique skill set. I really am blessed to have him. Robert, thank you for being a constant
encouragement, a strong shoulder, and a funny lifter of my spirit. God has blessed me with you. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, all in all, I have learned that sometimes God answers
our prayers, there is just sometimes time before we see the answer. I have learned to be less of a complainer and
have more of a gratitude attitude. I have learned to be
more aware of the good than the bad. I
have learned to better communicate. I have learned that I really am truly blessed. So, this week, I am going to try to cling to
those lessons so I can be the support I have received this week to someone else
who needs it more. After all, I am not
on this earth for me, but to serve Him.
And He promises to go before me and behind me; He promises to give abundantly
more than I could ask for (I just have to wait for His timing); He is good, so
when I follow Him I am in His hand, protected, blessed, and provided for. I need to get out of His way and let Him move
me; I need to get on board with what He is doing. After all, His plans are better than
mine. And I need to draw nearer to Him and He will draw near to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-84448941575144453552013-08-05T12:34:00.001-07:002013-08-05T12:34:28.582-07:00Balls, Parties, Guns<div class="MsoNormal">
Family, friends, and loved ones – simple concepts with great
expectations and foundations in life.
This weekend was full of them.
Robert had a small family emergency that taught me what I thought I
already knew – he relies on me for the big and the small. When things like that come up people are not
themselves, combined with my sickness all weekend it was a very off weekend for
us. We didn’t get to talk as much and we
learned a valuable lesson – text doesn’t convey emotion. But, our small talks ended up being each
other’s salve. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Thursday I got to go with my niece for her first time
bowling. The lady at the lanes said in
her 12 years of working there they had never seen a bowler so young (she is
only about 18 months). She totally kicked
her brother’s butt getting two strikes in a row! I watched the two of them battle it out and
enjoy the new experience. Of course, the
tall ladder that drops the ball for kids did help them out quite a bit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYtZ6n-KI0CxRtBtLiZXfSGqzyHKjN-W6hJ5wEkgDsREPPXcFCtHZQ7PJcOzrUmav-x4vI2noG2GF8kgxNYyWG543F88U_Lq3cekaWvY4OwMbofoVJZQkK1OFbnNdQhM1C1L6Z3bn01w/s1600/IMG_1121.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYtZ6n-KI0CxRtBtLiZXfSGqzyHKjN-W6hJ5wEkgDsREPPXcFCtHZQ7PJcOzrUmav-x4vI2noG2GF8kgxNYyWG543F88U_Lq3cekaWvY4OwMbofoVJZQkK1OFbnNdQhM1C1L6Z3bn01w/s320/IMG_1121.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLor7wkHI28mpev7EqUfMlZEb75AeUt4Wk_u5Kjnl9Aibt1fkZ6rhXIzw8Ln3OR7Bwrzlr1pk6pbA9AUtCVeZ_hDlTJiQDSG4Y8WbCF6W55VbY3pPxq6c3htMkLKak024GuJZlfjsIw/s1600/IMG_1057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLor7wkHI28mpev7EqUfMlZEb75AeUt4Wk_u5Kjnl9Aibt1fkZ6rhXIzw8Ln3OR7Bwrzlr1pk6pbA9AUtCVeZ_hDlTJiQDSG4Y8WbCF6W55VbY3pPxq6c3htMkLKak024GuJZlfjsIw/s320/IMG_1057.JPG" width="240" /></a><br />
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Friday I interviewed for a job working banquets. I got
it! Not after my new boss opened the
interview saying, “You’re interviewing me.
I already know where I would put you,” and “if you can succeed here, you
can succeed anywhere because the politics and crap that happens here is ridiculous
and unprecedented.” He apparently hates
the facility, though loves the job. I
start this Friday. Hopefully, this job
with the two proofreading jobs (I am still in testing stages with both but here
is to crossing my fingers) I can begin to relax a bit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUtrwX7qLg92m5RX8IkSV6bN5bo2SEkDQSiasztncA-8H60ehQGO2K_TO21cccXEJD_zZ9lXvgYX9JtS1kMDEBtObIPJEjyT3FKxC6P32gBUDyc8d8AkPwEkQheRTGHfm6uXGl_kAmxQ/s1600/IMG_1063.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUtrwX7qLg92m5RX8IkSV6bN5bo2SEkDQSiasztncA-8H60ehQGO2K_TO21cccXEJD_zZ9lXvgYX9JtS1kMDEBtObIPJEjyT3FKxC6P32gBUDyc8d8AkPwEkQheRTGHfm6uXGl_kAmxQ/s320/IMG_1063.JPG" width="240" /></a>My brother-in-law’s birthday was Friday. Actually, almost all my in-laws birthdays
were last week. A birthday every day for
most of the week, but he is in the same town so I went over to celebrate with
him. We did cake first with my kid sister
and her daughter and then headed to Chilies.
I have not eaten there in years, but it was great food – though our
server was less than great. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Saturday was my mom’s birthday and the first one I was home
for in ten years. Two of my nieces and
nephews came over to bake with her in the morning. They got the good stuff – chocolate chip
cookies. The adults got the equivalent
of a healthy coffee cake…not bad but not my first go to either. But the fellowship with my kid sis and her
husband was fun. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinbsgqlHZFWGJ38G0r9ifHK995HcUdUc5lLgxH-GZUxO7G5gGqRPS7VB7HsCnSdfyGwAhvrGTvMh50HlGlJEx4zGiJrKfajERf4svg89P55IQkliD1wfBpzXR4fayUuDQBhA52zkgxHw/s1600/IMG_1081.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinbsgqlHZFWGJ38G0r9ifHK995HcUdUc5lLgxH-GZUxO7G5gGqRPS7VB7HsCnSdfyGwAhvrGTvMh50HlGlJEx4zGiJrKfajERf4svg89P55IQkliD1wfBpzXR4fayUuDQBhA52zkgxHw/s320/IMG_1081.JPG" width="320" /></a>After baking we all headed to lunch with one of my older
sisters and her family joined. My dad
taught me the basics to shooting both a revolver and an automatic while we
tried to keep sane through the chaos.
Both he and myself work from home so we spend a great deal of time
alone. That large grew of people (11)
and the restaurant scene was much more than we are used to. I at least get some time with my sister and
her family every day (I have to keep sane somehow), but my dad spends most his
time working in his office on his own.
So, the lesson was great. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad is a world champion marksman. Really, he is top notch and has that exact
award. He used to put the newspaper
clipping with his picture of him shooting some kind of gun up at the front door
so our dates could see it. Here is a picture of him aiming for the small silhouette on the target: </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
And aiming for the head at 20 feet away: </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, having
him teach you to shoot a gun is not a bad thing. After lunch my parents took me
to shoot with them for the first time.
As I am shooting my mom’s automatic (yep she is quite good with a gun
too), I can barely hear her through my ear protection that “She is a good shot.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad had me shoot the revolver (I like that one) from
about 10 feet away. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIWUtnH4O62uNN2TTuFzb_Iw_R1fLzpjOD5dhyMGMsc1u8ecl-IYwmpzBJxED5zvo40EMp6XVyPbgIJYQ1JCQpJMfdARXCzcDGD5tQo32LTJknMqtbAJZJ3EK1q55Q20UihASo1MXICQ/s1600/IMG_1137.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIWUtnH4O62uNN2TTuFzb_Iw_R1fLzpjOD5dhyMGMsc1u8ecl-IYwmpzBJxED5zvo40EMp6XVyPbgIJYQ1JCQpJMfdARXCzcDGD5tQo32LTJknMqtbAJZJ3EK1q55Q20UihASo1MXICQ/s320/IMG_1137.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then he had me shoot from about 20 feet away (what you are
trained to do in the military…ok they do about 25 feet but this was an indoor
range). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Not bad for only my second time ever and first time in
years. Ryan S. you should be proud! When we left my dad
said, “You are a good shot” (not bad coming from a world champion marksman) and
my mom said, “You are your father’s daughter.”
Ok, not going to lie, that made me swell with pride a bit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We closed off the night celebrating my mom with her favorite
card game – Canasta. Kim and I played
partners. Though she was also taking
care of her babies, so she gave away our 100 point lead in the last hand to
have my parent’s beat us by 2000 points.
My comment to my mom, “She has
been ruining my life…” fell into a laugh.
Probably a good thing that my mom won, but really, she always wins that
game. But it was so much fun to play
with her and my dad. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiRYhW8lD6rHjm-F3LP30-JZOQv3LP-V4XxuhaibcyonsYCfpix5u5JKfyZYWfdFdADDwLxnw0SaA6mhle2zU7NfA2dnO1r-JozFn25QytPILDfq9Nr9B-pXqwUfHXg-YSeWXc4eVOSw/s1600/IMG_1149.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiRYhW8lD6rHjm-F3LP30-JZOQv3LP-V4XxuhaibcyonsYCfpix5u5JKfyZYWfdFdADDwLxnw0SaA6mhle2zU7NfA2dnO1r-JozFn25QytPILDfq9Nr9B-pXqwUfHXg-YSeWXc4eVOSw/s320/IMG_1149.JPG" width="240" /></a>Robert sent me a package of a really cute fedora (doesn’t he
have great taste?) and a workout band for my iphone. I told him perhaps over a month ago I was
looking for one, and he surprised me with it.
He is a great listener. How did I
get so lucky? Then he sent me an actual
post card!!! It is of the Old Place Plantation
in Gautier, MS. I love the little note
on it! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday, I worked for the first time in the nursery at
church. Thank you for the subbing positions
to still get paid. I then spent the day
chatting with Robert and ended up going to dinner with my sister and her
family. Living in an orchard and
surrounded by no sound (especially when my parents are both gone) really can
get</div>
to your head. I had to escape my
brain. So, it was a nice feeling when
Robert called and helped me to do that.
We have officially survived a month together officially and separated. We realized that he comes home on our
anniversary in October. That is a gift I
am looking forward to getting.<br />
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
For now, it is back to the grind and frustration of job
hunting. Here is hoping something
pops. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-31155624346634562152013-08-01T13:40:00.002-07:002013-08-05T11:52:25.573-07:00Thank the Lord for small blessings<div class="MsoNormal">
In a small town the small things often become the exciting
things. At least, that is what I think I
am learning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These past couple days have
been full of nothing particularly special, just quite stress and pondering
really. I have done the job hunt thing
and am getting really frustrated that I am too over qualified for any jobs
where I live and too under qualified for the jobs in the city in which I will
be living. How does that happen? But, I got
hired as a substitute nursery worker for the church. It isn’t consistent work, but it will be
helpful for now. I have an interview to
train as a buser for the country club out here on Friday. I am hoping for more consistent work. And I am in training to work for an actual
publisher as an independent contractor proofer.
They are paying for the training, but not for me to train. Hopefully, I can get through it fast so that
I can start getting paid gigs with them.
They are easy to work with, so that is exciting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, in the meantime, I still have those pesky student
loans. I graduated with my bachelors
debt free (yay me!!!) It took going to
school time and half, working four jobs at a time and having no life, but it
was worth it. Unfortunately, for my
masters the time commitment to succeed was significantly more, so I had to take
out loans (and I still worked two jobs to make ends meet). After you graduate you are supposed to get a
good job and pay them off…so far I am not having much luck. These things stress me out more than any
other bill because they NEVER go away and they will ALWAYS screw your
credit. So, trying to figure out how to
pay for them is getting stressful. Please
pray I get this job with the club (even though I have very little serving
experience) and the proofing job takes off. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p>Frustrated with the job situation has not made me ignorant
of the actual small blessings of being in a small town with family. I spent the past two days getting some
quality time with my two god-children.
It has been fun getting to know them.
We went to Color Me Mine yesterday where I helped to make a tea set for
my niece. My two nephews painted a
dolphin and a tractor. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Afterwards we went to this restaurant, Pluto’s. I had no idea this place even existed! It was great healthy food (mine lasted me two
meals). And the atmosphere was clean and
vibrant. I would recommend this place to
anyone who wants a healthy meal on the run.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got Robert the last part of his birthday package (it is in
26 days to all who want to get him something…I recommend anything really; he is
away and needs the loving). When I told
him this, he said “You are not supposed to be spoiling me; I am supposed to be
spoiling you.” I selfishly agree, but I
still like doing these nice things for you.
And, you will really like it. But
I am not giving you any hints…but you should try and guess anyway. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My sister was telling one of the youth that they should find
a man that treats them like a queen and that they can respect. She then went on to say that Robert sounds
just like that for me (though she qualified it by saying she hasn’t met him yet…but
I agree with her). Thank you for
treating me so well! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My exhaustion has not ceased. I actually found myself taking a ten minute
cat nap yesterday. I haven’t taken a nap in so long! But my body rebelled against me and made it
mandatory. I know I have a hard time
sleeping, but lately it seems to be the worst!
I have had dreams the past three nights of zombies and headless
horsemen. Really? I don’t even watch this kind of stuff. Ariel says it is subjectively thinking about
Robert because he is so into zombies and horror flicks. I guess…why couldn’t he be into butterflies
and fairies? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fair starts tonight.
I am helping out with the Miss Yuba Sutter competition. This will be the first real test of being in
the same place at the same time as my ex-fiancé. He is judging. So, being the amazing guy he is, Robert told
me I could call him to escape if I need to.
I am hoping some of my competition friends help me out too. The returning Miss Yuba Sutter will for sure…thanking
the Lord for small blessings. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-16289485093216319322013-07-29T13:40:00.001-07:002013-07-29T14:03:22.226-07:00Exhausted Service<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, so after a little hiatus I am back. This past week was one of inspiration, fun,
challenge, and pure exhaustion. Quite literally,
I even took at three hour nap yesterday and slept all night. So, here goes all I have learned in a
blog. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thursday and Friday of last week were competition days for
the Miss California State Competition. Most
people hear this and think beauty pageant.
But it isn’t. There is no judging on beauty, swimsuit, or poise. It is strictly a scholarship competition with
areas of competition including community service, academics, interviews, fair
industry (the title holder is the official hostess of the California State
Fair), community advocacy, impromptu, and talent (no beauty in any of those
areas). The organization that puts it is
on is <a href="http://youth-focus.org/">Youth Focus, Inc</a>. being an advocate for the advancement of youth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have worked with this organization since 2005 when I first
competed and have served as competitor, judge, and now chaperon. I have seen a variety of All Star Teams, but
this one will always hold a special place in my heart. This team was unique as there was a very
special guy competing for the title of California State Ambassador. He was talented (extremely – he plays 8 instruments
and focuses on 4), kind hearted, and compassionate. But what made him unique was that we competed
with Autism. I have never seen a special
needs individual compete, much less at the high standards required of this
competition. That was special enough,
but watching his team mates join around him and support him was something
else. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most often, contestants will help each other out, but try
their best to stand out on top. This
year they all helped David without any care to where it would put them in the
competition. He was so inspiring; they
just could not help it. He came in
second with the title of Golden State Ambassador with a perfect score in talent
(his harp playing brought me to tears it was so beautiful). When they called his name, he didn’t realize
what it meant. The girl I chaperoned all
week, and who was named Miss California State 2013, Madi Wackerman was standing
next to him. She leaned down to tell him
he won and we were just so excited. I do
not think he has ever won something this big in his life. The entire contestant pool erupted in cheers…it
was truly beautiful. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6xut1BFinBd3Chy2_UE-eNn-DZ6lhU04N3WyATTxlpmZ7h1t0iH_2HXvM6rjlPhEQUoPp2igcgmEYfSu7PXc4C8qvbkroadTlkBb1p2jNhqtMmZsUNBlaRvFy-7M03MZt7HHeNbGuw/s1600/IMG_0944.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6xut1BFinBd3Chy2_UE-eNn-DZ6lhU04N3WyATTxlpmZ7h1t0iH_2HXvM6rjlPhEQUoPp2igcgmEYfSu7PXc4C8qvbkroadTlkBb1p2jNhqtMmZsUNBlaRvFy-7M03MZt7HHeNbGuw/s1600/IMG_0944.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miss California State 2013 Madi and Me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHxMMlBwAQOlzd4qe8ugzUQtNT9Xx1RP44QQ0g6C4EgyXw9RG6iLTu1YzELaRt1hWvYyK_d-dh3mCF5Gir1cgvxh1GMQfoh3LZkogBQFYzmCXmya6VdQlpv4pSiGSoHAbXPGN9FWpn6g/s1600/IMG_0947.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHxMMlBwAQOlzd4qe8ugzUQtNT9Xx1RP44QQ0g6C4EgyXw9RG6iLTu1YzELaRt1hWvYyK_d-dh3mCF5Gir1cgvxh1GMQfoh3LZkogBQFYzmCXmya6VdQlpv4pSiGSoHAbXPGN9FWpn6g/s1600/IMG_0947.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">California State Golden State Ambassador 2013 and Me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This competition kept me on my feet about 14 hours a day
four six days in heels. Those of you who
know me know I am always in heels, but by the end of the week my feet were
numb. Quite literally, two days later
and I still can’t feel my toes. But, it
was worth it to see this team. They
truly blessed me. I was able to write an
article (thank you to Josh for catching a mistake…that’s what I get for writing
on 2 hours of sleep…thank you). Thank
you to all who read it for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was very successful at avoiding the ex last week. Though on my way out of the final luncheon he
tried to catch me. All I could was wave
at him and hurry out because I was hosting a birthday party for my sister that
night and still had a three hour drive ahead of me. So close but no cigar, sir! Too bad I have to
do it all over again this week at the fair.
He is judging and I am working with the girls. Good news, Miss California State (who I
chaperoned last week) and my mini-me will also be there and they run great interference. Plus, even with the two hour time difference,
Robert said I could call him and use him as an excuse. He is the best boyfriend ever. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I made it back to finish set up for the birthday party with
only a couple hours to spare, but it was a great party made more intimate by
the orchard setting. It was lovely. I got to see my siblings I seldom get to see
because of distance and schedules, and enjoyed watching everyone. I was so tired though I could barely stand up
by the end of the night. I didn’t even
do the beer tasting because it would only make things worse.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_tmYrWI1yP3Rgxxj9eXIY3Cg7Kq1dLprFqGiHOJ1zT35vqYKv7BwEk7xZn07HaAfyuvzjgFWOLm888nQ_Ah9BMZKwlnG31KbtzuehakIPzPy3oQl5Td-ENOgI8WOTeCzmaZMeQrQo-g/s1600/IMG_0956.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_tmYrWI1yP3Rgxxj9eXIY3Cg7Kq1dLprFqGiHOJ1zT35vqYKv7BwEk7xZn07HaAfyuvzjgFWOLm888nQ_Ah9BMZKwlnG31KbtzuehakIPzPy3oQl5Td-ENOgI8WOTeCzmaZMeQrQo-g/s1600/IMG_0956.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs2kRKIj7uEPAg0gVs2lBSeTOv3wEBk1ZX2tgIP_YkwkE2eD-MK0FXG1Q3qWQ_rSsgprSvqL_vspY7GPh7PGWZJ3F09WPasymdN7trsUDEfRs9cXzQUplkO9ulawzQhP2wwoxfMGynjQ/s1600/IMG_0961.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs2kRKIj7uEPAg0gVs2lBSeTOv3wEBk1ZX2tgIP_YkwkE2eD-MK0FXG1Q3qWQ_rSsgprSvqL_vspY7GPh7PGWZJ3F09WPasymdN7trsUDEfRs9cXzQUplkO9ulawzQhP2wwoxfMGynjQ/s1600/IMG_0961.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdPp7zUhAMO2IfMe-Jzv_peA9KmedF7QszqNleE9ZPE4A8aDHLPtNflcMHwZY4KfM_BKOVg68P3QD21fJYdEd4RkttYfG-zcQAecwLf1OkW1c08Jgr9fasj1iSUqKwa_Zb6Gy2CBHbgg/s1600/IMG_1016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdPp7zUhAMO2IfMe-Jzv_peA9KmedF7QszqNleE9ZPE4A8aDHLPtNflcMHwZY4KfM_BKOVg68P3QD21fJYdEd4RkttYfG-zcQAecwLf1OkW1c08Jgr9fasj1iSUqKwa_Zb6Gy2CBHbgg/s1600/IMG_1016.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Birthday girl, my daddy, and me!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hadn’t been able to talk to Robert all week (it felt like
eternity). So, I called him on the final
ten minutes home (yes, I know it was illegal, but I put him on speaker phone
and drove with both hands on the wheel).
It was so nice to hear his voice.
You never know how much someone means to you until you can’t talk with them
or see them. Those ten minutes were not
enough. Though, he succeeded in doing
something no one else really has been able to do – calm me down in less than
five minutes. So, after the party,
though I was so tired, I crawled into bed and Skyped him on my phone. I think he was shocked to see how tired I
looked. Oh, but it was so needed to see
him and reconnect with him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday, I did the 5<sup>th</sup> Sunday celebration at my
mom’s church. She does only one service on 5<sup>th</sup> Sundays of the month
so that everyone at church can see everyone.
This week she made a 20 foot ice cream sundae. I helped in the drama and on the worship team
and served. It was fun.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9jy-ke01OMRuCEPmkPbTayJ2E1aHNnteGCwRlO8CW-_HM92UnqsWgLsi9gieeOpImf0df07cdyHL34ILJ6VjB8XwiU4onxYuq-yWQCOlhkgzJp2A2tpMZwOd9lZRLVjmgUrRllKQekQ/s1600/IMG_1013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9jy-ke01OMRuCEPmkPbTayJ2E1aHNnteGCwRlO8CW-_HM92UnqsWgLsi9gieeOpImf0df07cdyHL34ILJ6VjB8XwiU4onxYuq-yWQCOlhkgzJp2A2tpMZwOd9lZRLVjmgUrRllKQekQ/s1600/IMG_1013.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me at the 20 foot ice cream sundae</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I then had lunch
with my grandparents and great aunt.
They wanted to know more about Robert and asked to see a picture of
him. I showed them one of him in his
dress uniform and they just about lit up!
“How handsome!” “What nice eyes,”
and “Wow! Does he have a lot of ribbons…speaks
well of him” seemed to pepper the conversation. They are anxious to meet this
wonderful beau of mine (two more months
grandma.) <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0VGCUT3ZXSM2KEDC1zBd1rDgoLqOu8OQZefuFMY_bVHLFortIWxpmhVSgpDq71uEG0QHbZ2n-xYROhOfcw4z9bhXPjlA4B3O43HnMpaPDyF5gUnqQ_vyP8qjL_nAWENsYXsaPYo1DYQ/s1600/IMG_0880.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0VGCUT3ZXSM2KEDC1zBd1rDgoLqOu8OQZefuFMY_bVHLFortIWxpmhVSgpDq71uEG0QHbZ2n-xYROhOfcw4z9bhXPjlA4B3O43HnMpaPDyF5gUnqQ_vyP8qjL_nAWENsYXsaPYo1DYQ/s1600/IMG_0880.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Robert in dress uniform for me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I crashed when I got home.
A three hour nap and two episodes of the West Wing and I was just beginning
to feel normal again. I Skyped Robert
and we started planning the trip to Maryland (getting really excited about
it). He had a test this morning he was
stressing over. But, when you prepare
you succeed. Who has a handsome beau
with brains that got a 97% on his test he was just hoping to pass? Me! So
proud of you, honey! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now, to start another day back in the orchards. Here we go!!! <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-74633645966999955682013-07-24T16:20:00.004-07:002013-07-24T16:20:43.086-07:00Impact<div class="MsoNormal">
Impact: a powerful word that is often given very little reverence.
We go through life and forget that we all have an impact on this world. We impact the people around us. We impact the planet. We impact the morals of our policies and how
we treat people. But, more often than
not, we forget this simple reality leading to poor self-image, depression, and
in the most extreme circumstances, suicide.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This competition is a fantastic example of how that impact
is so important (whether we choose to recognize that or not). The young girl I am chaperoning remembered me
from my first year of competition. She
was so impressed with my talent (spinning a rifle) and it has stayed with her
for eight years. Her father worked on the music for the
National World War II Museum in New Orleans.
I just came from that very show a few weeks and was impacted by the
experience I was brought to tears. That
experience will stay with me for years to come because one man decided to dedicate
his skills and talents to such a worthy cause.
How blessed I was by that man, who may never meet me and may not think
what he did was anything special, but he made an impact on my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This impact is often best seen through our skills and
talents, but it can also be seen through our weakness and failures. This often hits home when one considers
things like watching an “aha!” moment arise after many failed attempts. More
often than not we see this in science when the serendipitous accident results
in the finding of a cure of balding (Rogan) or treatment for a disease. But what about situations a little closer to
home: job hunting (my city has been in double digit unemployment since 1990),
that class you have to retake because you just didn’t understand the criteria? When people watch how you handle that
failure, it is impactful (either for good or ill). I have been denied a job in my field four the
past four years, but that failure to find a job has not kept me from
looking. I have been told by many that
this has been a testament to them in a variety of fields. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who you are makes a difference. If we all just believed that truth and shared
that truth with the people around us how the world would be different! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All this to say that this competition is still impacting me –
even though I am not a competitor this year.
Between the workshops and the people it is still a learning experience. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was lucky today to hear a wonderful keynote speaker,
encourage more than one of the contestants, and get to help write. To top it off, I was confirmed as a paid
writer for Examiner.com (it is official!)
The trick is to pass it around because I am paid per view of my page,
not article written, so please go follow my articles and take a look:
examiner.com/andriablack. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also got to text my sweetheart who never ceases to make me
feel special. Just the nick name Angel
makes my heart flutter. He is also so
supportive of my work here with these youth, but also my trepidation about seeing
my ex-fiancé. The good news is I have to
rush back home to my sister’s birthday party Friday so there shouldn’t be any
problem with escaping him. Robert has made me laugh and feel like a
princess so much, but especially when I am surrounded by so many crowns it
means a lot. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day has mostly been one of contemplation in its purest
form and I blessings in its most tangible form.
How blessed I am to be able to lend some of my talent for words and
public speaking to these youth and encourage them in their efforts. Thank you for letting me make a
difference. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-39527552818943370262013-07-23T16:27:00.000-07:002013-07-23T16:27:26.882-07:00The Competition Begins<div class="MsoNormal">
I love reconnecting with old friends and making new
ones. Always with a Youth Focus, Inc.
event that is precisely what happens.
But what you don’t know is that the Cal State Week Experience continues
to teach you about yourself even if you are not competing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I had the pleasure of picking up the girl I am
chaperoning for the week – Miss Orange County Maddie Wickerman. She lives four miles from my old place in
Huntington and we got along swimmingly from the start. I then headed to meetings and the ever long
process of hurry up and wait that seems to be inevitable when this many people
get together for a something of this grand nature. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I encountered more and more people I have known
throughout the years and was consistently asked about my brother (who was a
previous title holder) and my ex-fiancé (also a previous title holder) and only
once directly asked about my life (and only for a brief interlude). What a perspective to get on the impact you
had on people. At first this made me sad because I felt like I had not made
that grand an impact of people who have made a big one on my life. But then I realized I had been given a
gift. I get to lay a foundation of who I
am now and what makes me a great person, teaching and encouraging the next
generation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This also gave me time to consider such grand ideas of what
competition really means. In today’s world competition is measured by who one
can step on to climb a ladder, but really what that teaches is not success but
emptiness – you end up alone on top with no one with whom to share the
spoils. Competition is also often taught
as a way to compare oneself to another.
But there will always be someone who is better at everything than
you. If you don’t believe me, take a
look at me and my kid brother David who can do anything he puts his mind to
well, and often better than me. I have
learned a lot from him. So, what this
way of thinking does is teach us to be jealous and unhappy with who we are and
the many gifts we have to share. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead, and stay with me here, I think competition should
be taught as a way to best ourselves.
When we encourage our competition to do their best, it would actually
force us to put our best forward to achieve our desires and goals. For example, in the game of golf it is a part
of the etiquette to cheer on the opponent because their success actually pushes
you to achieve at a higher level. It is
the only game of which I am aware where this is a common practice. Why do we not teach this more?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When one thinks of rising teen suicides and bullying and self-esteem
problems for people of all ages, he often thinks it is society’s fault for
being too hard on a kid (everyone should be a winner). The problem seems to be that we are not
giving enough credit to our kids and that we set them up to feel this way about
themselves. Instead, if we encouraged each
other on to love and good works we could really improve not just our own lives
but make an impact on the people around us.
No longer would their successes hurt us, but they would be models of how
to grow in our own gifts and talents. No
longer would jealousy be able to take root, for we would be encouraged to strengthen
our own gifts and talents to be able to achieve at a higher level. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We could make more of an impact if we challenged ourselves
to be better today than we were yesterday.
I think it is time we changed our focus of competition from being one of
outward focus to being one of inward focus.
Cheers to being better tomorrow than we are today. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-11396584347872525752013-07-22T10:43:00.005-07:002013-07-22T10:43:48.142-07:00Leadership, Band Geeks, and Traffic<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the best busy day I have had in a while complete with
friends, rehearsals, and God. The
prelude to it was just as grand. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday night I video chatted Robert (never a bad thing…just
a few more months) and then headed to the Peach Festival with my college
friend, Nellie. She and I saw experienced
peach in a variety of forms from lemonade to turnovers to licorice. Then we had a simple dinner of chicken sandwiches
and got caught up. Her husband, who I
refer to as Marky Mark, was pleasant company and more humorous than I
remembered. Then I went to bed with
happy texts from Robert. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though I had very little sleep (I had to pack for my trip to
the Miss California State Competition in San Jose) and have trouble sleeping in
the heat, I awoke with energy enough to brew some coffee and hit the day swinging. I got ready for church and Dad and I headed
to rehearsal complete with coffee and high hopes for the day. I saw Grandpa (he is doing really well, thank
you for the prayers) and my great aunt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p>The sermon was about leadership and the different types of
leaders we choose to be in different circumstances. I thought this was
particularly apropos for the week where I am helping select the team captain
for Youth Focus, Inc. (choosing leaders and working with community leaders from
across the state). Something that stuck
with me is that we are leading, even when not in an official leadership
capacity, but we are either leading towards something or away. So who are you leading? Where are you leading? How are you leading? These questions are important for us all to
ask, but especially those with children in their lives, and those looking to
create change, and those in transition.
These circumstances make or break a leader, and we are in them every day. So, if you think you have failed as a leader
once, don’t worry, there are many more opportunities to lead and succeed
throughout life…daily in fact. You just
have to choose to be better. We can all
be the next Martin Luther King, Jr. or Gandhi or Lincoln we just have to choose
to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With these thoughts of leadership in mind I went home to
finish prepping for a great reunion with some high school friends and their
families. The old crew got together,
complete with wives and children, and we had a great time of laughter, story
exchanges, and realizing that our conversations ceased being about trivial
things but now focus on adult things – jobs, children, laws, and bills. When did we grow up? How did that happen? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was most blessed by the company of my ex-boyfriend and his
wife and son. He makes a good burger
(thank you standing in the heat and grilling for me, sorry about all the
smoke). V, you are a gem and I love that
you are in my life. You are one of my favorite people and I see great leadership
in you, but also great compassion and joy.
I want to be like you. Thank you
Ryan and Crystal for driving all that way; I have so missed your faces and
enjoyed reconnecting. Jess and Matt, you
two bring such life and color to everyday events. Thank you.
I can’t wait to see you all again; there is a special place in my heart
for all you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After cleaning up I headed to San Jose where I realized I
still hating driving by semi-trucks…especially when the driver is falling
asleep and then tries to merge into my lane where I have nowhere to go. Let’s do that again! Thank you God for protecting me from
semi-trucks and stupid night runners who run with ear buds in and only wear
black. No accidents because Dad taught
me to drive defensively but still hate driving.
Robert please come home so you can drive on trips like this (and because
I love your company and want to experience these kinds of trips with you).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I then met up with my mini-me and we caught up. We had such a great time looking at old
pictures and prepping for this week of competition. Ironically, we had a little virtual visit
from one of my old roommates. The timing
was hilarious because I happened to be sitting next to her when he requested
her friendship on Facebook. He hasn’t
talked to her in at least two years, to the timing was perfect. We had a great meal of Hawaiian Sweet Rolls
(I think they put some coke in those to make them addicting) and finally calmed
down enough to go to sleep around two a.m. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
All in all a busy day, but full of life, friends, color, and
excitement; they only thing missing was video chatting Robert (two hours
difference is more than one realizes).
Though I have nothing to complain about, V did fifteen months with Josh
in Iraq…four months of him in Mississippi is nothing to complain about. Now to start a week of renewing friendships,
avoiding old relationships, and leading the next generation of leaders…Father,
let me be an example of you that I might be a small impact for good in the
lives of these youth. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-66828359621797781592013-07-20T11:14:00.003-07:002013-07-20T11:14:32.757-07:00All-Consuming<div class="MsoNormal">
The past few days have been slow and boring. Complete with tons of rejection letters and
no responses, but full of quiet moments of reflections. From writing to reading to long walks in the
orchard to get my head back on track, I have learned…or perhaps realized…one
thing: No matter where I am or what I am doing, I am loved. That sounds corny, but it is reality. And I believe more of us need to claim that
truth. How did I come to this
conclusion? I am not really sure I can
actually put it into words but I am going to try. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had dinner with my brother the other night. Will served with the Marine Corps for most
his adult life and now works on base here in town. He is a feisty one, but has a heart of
gold. We put in a movie after dinner
only to turn it off to talk. He reminded
me that when we were in school we used to talk all the time. He missed it as much as I did. I remembered that when he served in Japan and
Iraq I always felt special to get a call from him. He has always been a good brother and I am
thankful God put him in my life…even though it wasn’t until high school. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I found myself in an orchard reading (I like to walk
and read at the same time) and the book I was reading was discussing love – all
forms. Agape love in the book is an all-consuming
love. Having never been in love before
(don’t get me wrong, I have loved deeply…my first boyfriend, my ex-fiancé I
will love forever, but I was never IN love with them), this idea stuck with me.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The irony was that I was reading and pondering this on my parents’
39<sup>th</sup> anniversary (I think 39 it could be 38…but a long time none the
less). And I was reminded about my
Grandpa John pursuing my Grandma Shirley across the country. But, even these
samples of love did not lend much to the all-consuming idea of agape. The closest thing I could come to
understanding it was my relationship with God.
And not even my side of the relationship. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You see, sometimes I forget about him, I ignore his
requests, I sin, I rebel. But his love for me is all-consuming to him. I mean the best way I can explain it is the
best true fairy tale ever. A prince, who
had everything, left it to find me, the wayward Jezebel. Then when he found me, I rejected his
advances. Where this would drive most
men into anger or harden their hearts, he found new ways to pursue me. When he had exhausted all his resources and
rationale, he gave the ultimate gift, his life for mine. And then, he came back to celebrate and walk
with me. That is all-consuming love if I
have ever heard of it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, yesterday, I gave myself a “get my head in the game day”
meaning I took it out of the game for a break.
Sometimes it is the distance to a problem that lends to a solution. I went out and prepared for my trip to San
Jose next week. I am chaperone a Miss
California State contestant. I used to
do these competitions I know the kind of stress that it induces. So, I want to be the chaperone that helps relieve
that stress. So I went out and put
together a nice welcome basket for her and have some other things planned for
her throughout the week. But this quite
time of painting and creativity reminded me of how happy I am when I write and
create. So, I am praying this writing
thing takes off as well as a potential other proofreading gig (I am on the
short list I am told). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I talked to my mom and had a great dinner (thank you for the
introduction to zucchini pizza and chips!!! YUM!!) Here I realized how love is perceived
by others. My mom asked me about Robert
and I gave her some updates. She
responded, “Well I am glad he loves you and makes you happy. That makes me happy.” He had never said he loves me and I had not
realized it, until she said something.
But, he does (I know because he told me) and that made me feel
special. But it was his actions that
made my mom say that, she has not met him yet.
But, his encouragement, the way he thinks about me (sending flowers because
I am stressed…and they look beautiful!), and talking to me about all we see and
experience, he is involved – much like Christ is involved in my life…he wants
to know all about my day and the people I encounter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I am still mostly unemployed (read my examiner.com
articles so I can be more employed), but I am loved, taken care of, and have a
bright future. You see, my God does not
abandon me; he loves me too much to do that.
He has promised to give me abundantly more than I could ever ask for,
and he promises to give me the desires of my heart. So, though this may be a difficult time, it
is not by far the end. I have something
bright coming my way, and I am excited to see the path. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-55548579855795347522013-07-18T10:28:00.004-07:002013-07-18T10:28:42.508-07:00Why do good girls finish last?<div class="MsoNormal">
Why is it that good girls finish last? I mean really! We do everything right and then, smack,
knocked down again. Sometimes it really
feels like I am Sisyphus rolling a rock continually uphill. But I get ahead of myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday started like any other day. Job hunting in the morning and then a meeting
with Restoration Railroad to help plan some events and help with fundraising
ideas occupied most of my day. I had a
nice and much needed video chat with Robert (he is such a great encourager) and
then I headed off to dinner with my brother.
We talked and had a great time and I headed home to bed…or so I thought.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a call from my would-be employer for the weekend
cancelling on me. I was supposed to work
the Peach Festival this weekend (and Lord knows I need the income), but the
company lost two people and just doesn’t have the man power to do it. So, that income went right out the
window. Not a problem, my God is a god
who provides, so I know something will come, but this was the tail end of a day
that had been intermixed with rejection letter after rejection letter…including
one that told me I was unqualified for a teller position at a bank. Really?
I know tellers; I am way OVER qualified if anything. Frustration does not begin to explain where
my head was and may still be potentially. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reviewing the past couple days in general, it really does
feel like I am rolling a rock uphill just to have it come rolling back down on
top of me. I apply to (on average)
approximately fifty places a week (it takes longer for most because I have to
send in numerous writing samples). I receive
maybe a fourth of that in responses all of them are rejections. I can’t understand it. I am educated, I am a hard worker, I am
determined, and I have loyalty that surpasses some Marines. I leave companies better than when I started. I am a quick learn. I am a great public speaker and even better
writer. So, explain to me why I can’t
seem to get hired anywhere? No one can
say it is because I don’t qualify and that I am not trying. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jehovah Jirah, my provider, my faith is in you. At this point, you are the only one who can
provide for me. Thank you for the
provision of a car to use, a house to live in, and food in my belly. For that I am grateful. I know you know my bank account (my worth is
not in my bank account) and I know you know that I still have bills to pay
(those pesky student loans are not going away anytime soon). You promise to provide for your
children. If the birds of the air have a
place to rest their heads and the lilies of the valley are clothed so
beautifully and they are here today and gone tomorrow, how much more will you
provide for me? As a faithful tither, I
know you will. Please renew my strength
and hope. Send me some relief. Father, you promise to give abundantly more
than we can ask for, so I am expecting an incredible job where, for the first
time in my life, I don’t have to live paycheck to paycheck; I am expecting a
job where I have purpose and am excited to get up and go to work; I am
expecting that as I wait for that job you will provide me with an income that
pays the bills and allows me to save a little.
Thank you for always coming through, even when it looks grim. Thank you that you hear my prayers and have
compassion for me. Thank you for being a
God who is involved and loving. I ask my
fellow Believers to join with me in this prayer, for where two or more are
gathered in His name, there He is also (it does not say it has to be in the
same place at the same time). Amen. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I am praying this, I am reminded of my boyfriend who has
been nothing but encouraging and helpful in this process. How blessed I am by him every day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I was praying this prayer last night before bed, I was
urged to get on-line and read a letter from a dear friend, one of great encouragement. She thought she was encouraging me in my
relationship with Robert and our different ideas of God, but what she did in
reality was encourage me to keep my faith in the stressful time of not knowing
how God will provide…because He always provides. Thank you and I can’t wait to see you on
Sunday! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, why is it that good girls seem to finish last? Perhaps it is because it will show His immense
love and grace more when He opens the floodgates of Heaven. Let it rain!!!!!<o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-9506660476416386172013-07-17T11:16:00.003-07:002013-07-17T11:16:28.822-07:00The unglamours life<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing like coffee with your sister after a great work out
(don’t worry it is always low carb and sugarless). Some quite morning coffee is a great way to
reconnect and rejuvenate. That became
more and more important as my day evolved yesterday. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started Exodus this week and the many miracles of
Jesus. I noticed in Exodus that Moses’
mom actually ended up getting paid to do what she would have done anyway – be a
mom and a wet nurse. That is pretty cool
and encouraging to me (still looking for a regular job and being paid to read
and write in the meantime). After my
morning routine, I head out with my sister to run some errands. I am helping her plan and throw her birthday
party in a week so we went out to get some supplies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Afterward I came home and job hunted some more. About forty minutes into my job hunt I get a
call from Tammy from Utah. Tammy is who
I have been working with in the process of interviewing for this particular
position. She was calling to inform me
that I was not chosen, though they did forward my resume on to another
department (though she would not tell me which one) and that they would be in
contact with me if it all worked out.
Thank you Tammy, you have been wonderful to work with in this
process. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At that moment I realize two things. One I was holding my breathe as I knew it
would be a call about if I were to move forward or not. Second, I was torn between what answer I
wanted it to be. Don’t get me wrong, I want
a job…terribly so. But I don’t want to
live in Utah and Robert will be in Maryland this fall, if I got the job that
means that Robert and I would go our separate ways (we talked about it already,
though neither one of us wants to). I
also really want to be in DC (since 2000) and if I got the job in Utah I might
never get there. So, part of me was
relieved I did not get the job. But, the
other part was discouraged all over again.
I am an excellent employee and give one hundred and ten percent at
everything. Yet, I can’t seem to catch a
break. At least in Washington DC I know
I have an employment company that wants to work with me (they love my resume) I
just have to be there. God, please open
a door. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I am contemplating all this, my dad comes to my door with
a big box. Robert has sent me fresh tulips
(no guy has ever done something like that) and the card was perfect: “I know
you’re stressed so here is a reason to smile. Robert.” That was as God moment. Thank you for the beautiful flowers and
perfect card. You are so wonderful to
me. The flowers look beautiful! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My sister comes over to help me hang some art work (finally
getting things feeling like I live here) and rearrange my kitchen (it did not
make sense at all). Getting that done
made me feel more at home…something I have not quite felt yet. Then we headed
over to the Cookie Tree with the kids and a new book store (yay for having one
in Yuba City!!!) I hunt down a book I
have been looking for (it should be here between two days and two weeks) and
got two more from one of my favorite authors.
My sister told me I could justify the purchase because I can write about
them and get paid for them as an examiner (you all need to follow my articles
there and help me out…different style of writing but still fun). It is as we are out that I get yet another rejection letter (do all the companies get together and plan delivering them all on the same day? I mean really, I was still whirling from the first one and this one was actually at a place in DC I really wanted to work for...ah, well just another door I know I am not suppose to go through). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I then headed to a rehearsal with the worship team and got
coffee with my dad. I love being able to
spend more time with him. I learned
grandpa had surgery (they put in a pace maker) and is to be out of the hospital
today. Thank you all for your prayers,
they were heard and we are blessed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
got to talk to an old friend, Katie, who is a professor at the local community
college. She teaches English, so I had
to pick her brain for some articles I am writing. It was so great to here from her and get a
quick catch up. I look forward to coffee
or beer or wine and some great conversations with you. Thank you for all your support!! I had hoped
to come home to a video chat with Robert, but his schooling got in the
way. I am so proud of you, honey, for
doing this and how serious you are taking it.
But I still wish we had gotten a little face time. Ah well, this is only for a short time and
then you will be home. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-30424567202853452602013-07-16T13:36:00.001-07:002013-07-16T13:36:05.696-07:00Burglars, Fires, and Blessings<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the worst night’s sleep possible (waking up every 40
minutes) the night prior so getting up to do Insanity with Ariel was like some
kind of torture. But I did it. I then immediately crashed for a 30 minute nap. After a shower, two cups of coffee, and a
Bible study I finally felt like I could face the day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of you know I was hired as a write for Examiner.com
last week…on probationary bases. This
means they have to review a couple articles I write before I can actually get
paid and they keep me on as a writer.
This is great as it will hopefully turn into actual regular income and I
get to write about something I love – literature. But before you can write for them you have to
take some courses with them so that everyone is on the same page (i.e. style,
formatting, rules, etc.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the process of taking these classes I get a call from my
mother. My mother leaves a messages
asking if I am at home, so I text her back with an affirmative. She must have an auto response on because she
told me she was in a meeting, but one minute later she is calling. Apparently the alarm on the main house went
off and she needs me to go through the house and make sure nothing is
amiss. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First thing I do is grab the dog. He is small but I know he will protect
me. So, I wonder through the house, all
the while on the phone telling my mom which room I am in. I know the cops are on their way but if I
find someone first I want them to know exactly where to find me if something
happens. After the ten minute search,
with nothing out of the ordinary, we call of the dogs and I head back to work. My
dad apparently didn’t secure the door completely and the wind blew it
open. Yay for a bit of adventure! I think I am done for the day, but I was
wrong. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My sister takes me with her to a doctor’s apt in Roseville
and picks me up. As we head out of town
we see this cop fly around the corner and flip a u going at least fifty miles
per hour. At first we think he is just
trying to find a good spot to hide, but then we realize there is what we think
is a burn pile going off. Burn piles
have to be reported before they happen in case there is a problem (after all we
live in a hot oven). As we turn the corner
and drive a couple miles we see this is not a normal fire, there are high
flames, so I call it in (I am that girl).
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“911, what’s your emergency?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am reporting a fire on Garden Hwy just south of Wilson
Road. It may be on the levee, but it may
also be in the orchards, it is hard to tell from here. There is a cop who just pulled over; I just
wanted to make sure everyone was communicating.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Where?” I repeat myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh,…well, hold please.
I need to transfer you to the sheriff’s department.” Just me, or is it a bit strange that I have
now been on the phone for five minutes about a fire in an orchard and no one
seems to think it is anything important enough to move on? Maybe because I watched my house burn down
when I was ten, but these are some slow moving people. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I get transferred to the Sheriff’s department and have to
repeat everything. I have worked phones
for many jobs, up to four lines at a time, when I transfer a call I tell you
what it is about, especially if it is an emergency. You would think the dispatch had thought
about that, right? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh really, how big is the fire?” What?! How big?
It’s a fire in an orchard!!!! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Big enough I can see it from High way 99” (That’s a couple
miles from Garden Highway). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, well could it be the levee, I mean they do do
controlled burns out there.” Of this I am aware; but really, do you want to
take that kind of chance? It’s Yuba
City, nothing is happening, check it out people and do your job!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok, I will send someone to take a look.” You bet you will! Fires spread quickly, not to mention ones
surrounded by orchards! Why do you think
that copy turned so quickly?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, assured by our great sheriff’s department that the fire
will be taken care of, we head to Roseville for a pretty useless doctor’s
visit. But we grab some grub at La Bou
(great food) and then ran to a book store.
I came home and worked on my first article for Examiner.com (now, you
all need to start following me there too so that I can get paid…the more hits
the better my world can be!)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got to talk with Robert via Skype (praise God for that
piece of technology!!) We talked about
our day, laughed at each other, and enjoyed a nice banter. We talked about me driving his car out to him
and I fully considered it for an hour.
Then practical Andria kicked in.
Aside from the gas, the car would need to be serviced in Mississippi and
again when it got back home because of the miles put on it. Then he will be taking it again across
country for his change of base to Maryland.
So we nixed the idea (bummer, but only a few more months to have to deal
with this long distance thing). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I then began to work on the prep for my next article (a book
review…so I will get paid to read the book and write about it!) How did I not know about this job
sooner? I can’t stay sitting still very
long, so I take the book with me on a two mile walk through the orchards. It was a great way to end the day. Talking to
Robert, reading a great book by one of my favorite authors, and enjoying a
sunset in the orchards…truly I am blessed.
Truly. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-75843036970842685392013-07-15T11:01:00.001-07:002013-07-15T11:02:47.245-07:00How Do You Know You Got A Good One?<div class="MsoNormal">
Some days just take everything out of you, for me this was
that weekend. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday I woke up not feeling one hundred percent (talking
to your boyfriend till 3:30 am will do that).
So, I cancelled my work out with my sister and slept in a bit. I met up with her to help her with a vendor
event she was doing. During the set up I
excused myself to the powder room and one of the other ladies’ children had to
excuse himself. I was volunteered to
watch him (my credentials being exemplary).
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I take this little guy I have never met to the powder
room. He was about six or seven and full
of energy. I am used to taking three
kids at a time and know what it is like to have to relieve yourself
quickly. Since I did not know this
child, I was extremely quick and awaited him in the hallway. After five minutes I walk into the men’s lavatory
to check and make sure he did not give me the slip. All I can see are his bare feet dangling from
the stool. I ask him if he is ok and
like every guy, “Yeah, could you just get out.”
So, I did thinking surely he must be done soon. After another ten minutes of waiting I am
concerned for the poor kid. I know guys
take forever to do their business, but fifteen minutes for a six year
old!?! Something is wrong. I text my sister thanking her for putting me
on kid duty. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two girls about two minutes later come bounding up to see
where there brother is – still in the bathroom.
They confirm and leave. My sister
texts that the sisters are going to take over…but they just left. Great!
Well, about three minutes later they come back to relieve me of my
post. Thank heavens! Apparently, the mom was not concerned with
this stranger watching her child, thank the Lord my sister was adamant about
getting me off the hook. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the event she and I decided to eat at this place, Casa
Verde I think it is called. It is
similar to a Chipotle, but I was not impressed with their meat. Sad.
We ran a few more errands and then I posted my blog. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When something is wrong I like to deal with it head on. And Robert and I had been talking all day
about the day and a little about our conversation the last night. But, writing is sometimes easier for me to
convey my feelings so when he read the last blog we really began to DTR (define
the relationship). You know a guy is
good when he doesn’t want to break up but will if it will make you happy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been engaged for four years to a man. When we broke up I had to force tears out so
as not to appear callas. But, I had been
praying for the relationship to end for about three of those years. The idea of breaking up with Robert took all
of my strength to hold back tears. I don’t
cry. But that idea was too sad! Needless to say, we didn’t break up! YAY!!
He proved himself to be quality in that discussion. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p>He ended the night talking about when I played Esther in <u>Meet
Me In St. Louis</u>. He played my
dad. There is a scene after the big
party when Esther realizes she is moving and won’t get to be with her
love. But, her kid sister just can’t
believe that is going to happen. To calm
little Tootie down, Esther sings Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Robert told me he used to purposely be in the
wings to listen to me sing it because it gave him chills down his spine and his
grandparents had not heard it sung so well in decades. I don’t think I have that great a voice, but
that just lifted my heart. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to bed with his sweet words in my head and got up to
a good morning from him. I headed off to
church. Apparently, I missed my
grandfather by ten minutes. He was
rushed to ER for chest pains. Very
scary. Still awaiting an update, but I
think they were testing him yesterday at noon.
I got to talk a little to my great aunt about Mississippi and enjoyed a
sermon on children. Apparently, even if
you don’t have kids you are still responsible for raising them. Good for me!
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I came home and finished cleaning the shower out that had
the plumbing problem (I had cleaned it the prior night now that the plumber had
fixed the problem but wanted it to soak in disinfectant overnight) and had a
great lunch. Then I helped my daddy
paint the fence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we were painting I got to talk to my dad in a relaxed environment. It was the first time I got to talk about
Robert. What you have to realize I my
dad is not just my dad. He has also been
my pastor for most my life and I consider him the wisest person I know. I told him about my trip, how Robert treated me
that he was willing to wait for me (to which my dad replied most Christian men
wouldn’t) and my concern about the religion thing. To which he said, it can work and to give it
a chance (after all I have dated bad Christians). That was encouraging. And it was fun to talk with him – plus we
painted the fence. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p>A little heat sick I came in to video chat Robert. I loved being able to make him laugh. I then did some reading so I can be working
on a writing assignment (oh yeah, I have been probationary hired as a writer
for Examiner.com – ideas of what literature to write on are now being
accepted). And headed to bed – tired but
happy and with this text from Robert: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You give me a special feeling. Well, special like my happiness comes from
your happiness. I can’t wait to hear
from you every day. Talking to you at
night drives me to get through the day.
I can have the best day in the world, but it would still suck until I
got to hear from you. You could make my
bad days good.” He makes me feel special
with words like that. There are still
good guys out there, and I think I may have been blessed with an extra special one. <o:p></o:p></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-68603256229804739532013-07-13T17:20:00.004-07:002013-07-13T17:20:38.834-07:00Equally Yoked<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up to a very interesting text: “Sorry, hun, I was
dead to the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I add you to that
list?” and an inconsistency on Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Additionally, if you know me you know I have a perfectionist thing going
on and don’t like inaccuracy so I try to fix it immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You also know that in my attempt to do so I
sometimes come across curt (never my intention which you also know if you spend
any amount of time with me).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needless to
say, Robert did not read my response of “No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please fix this” as a good morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I succeeded at upsetting him before 7 am (did not even know
that was possible).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After my work out we
got some video time with him and cleared it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He meant to say he would like me to visit, he was responding to a
question I asked about sending him a package.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And he really hates social media, so he didn’t take it as seriously as
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Problem solved. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I then did more job applications and deep cleaned the
bathrooms and kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At about one a
man in his sixties, smiling a crookedly sweet smile, came to my door and asked
to get into the main house to take care of some bugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, he has been taking care of the
property the past three years and my parents were out in town. He went through
my apartment and, after he realized I was significantly older than the 20 years
he had thought, started commenting on how clean my apartment was and how nice
it was to go somewhere clean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No bugs!
(Amazing what cleanliness can prevent!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I then went out to run some errands with Ariel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We went into town and discovered a new
market: New Earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best way I can
describe this place is Trader Joe's meets Whole Foods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found something to send to Robert (its
coming in the mail sometime next week) and discovered the wonderful world of
gelato has finally hit Yuba City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After feeding the kids we go with her husband’s ex-wife’s
mom to play Bingo at the senior citizen center.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think I am everyone’s good luck charm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had never played before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Apparently there are like twenty different ways to play Bingo and we
played them all…I am pretty sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at
least my sister won!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yay!!! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then we headed over to this yogurt place, Janyo, and joined
my kid brother and my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We talked
about everything from Paula Dean to a man who can keep four symphonies in his
head at the same time starting at different places and be accurate with a performance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then got gas in the car and headed home to
what I thought was going to be bed but was mistaken. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert called me (yay for voice time) but we quickly found
ourselves contemplating some important realities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First topic on the docket:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are curse words bad?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think they are degrading and don’t edify
even when they are not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think there
are many other words that came better convey what you are trying to
express.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He believes that is a construct
of society that they are bad, that they are just words and nothing more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This made me go straight to the scriptures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words can build you up or tear you down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Out of the heart the mouth speaks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words can bring life or death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, this may have been the first time I
realized how important it is to have the same morale understanding because he
could not see it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I am now embarking
on a research project of the development such four letters words into being bad
words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any help is appreciated. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We then got into a topic of faith, my faith, and why I
believe what I believe. We discussed a lot of apologetics (I need to freshen up
on that, but I think that late in the night I did pretty good).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We talked about the corruption of people then
and now, how victors write history, why did some things get canonized and other
not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have the answers, but I
know how to get them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to send
him <u>The Case for Christ</u> (written by an atheist journalist looking to
prove Christianity wrong).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A good read
for Christians and non-Christians alike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We discussed this till three in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not something I usually do but I think that
this was something important enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was at this point that I realized why scripture says you
should avoid getting married, but if you do you should be equally yoked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not know what will happen with this, but
I do know that this is going to be a much bigger deal than I thought that he is
not a Christian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciate his
support in my faith, it means a lot to me, but it is hard to relate on a lot of
things because how I see the world is so colored by my faith and it does not color
his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really does make me sad
that he doesn’t believe because it is so important to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not just my religion; it is my being,
my all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see everything through the
lenses of my relationship with Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, it is hard that he doesn’t see that too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Praying for a resolution and that we figure
this out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I know you read this, and I know this isn’t news to
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for talking to me about my
faith and questioning me about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciate
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7462638664969070468.post-54922396240936402262013-07-12T11:02:00.002-07:002013-07-12T11:02:27.931-07:00Water Breaks, Fights and Porno<div class="MsoNormal">
There is nothing like waking up at 3:30 am to a soggy floor…which
I did yesterday. Apparently the “leak”
we thought we had from the rain a few weeks ago is anything but a leak. My bathroom floor was covered in water (two
buckets to be precise) and my shower drain had been blown off and the entire
shower looked like a hurricane hit it (complete with two inches of water). There was so much water it poured out into my
bedroom and soaked into the carpet all across the boarding wall and into my closet. I was able to get half a bucket of water out
of the carpet before my hands hurt from ringing towels out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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An hour later I crawled back into bed and finally fell
asleep about half an hour later (after I texted pictures to my parents). At 6:30 am my mom comes into my room (I
couldn’t hear her knock because I had my sound machine on and fans trying to
dry the floor). She hear the rain sound
my machine was playing and thought the shower was exploding again, so she
rushed in and awoke me (not a bad thing since my alarm was about to go off
anyway). She agreed – not a leak. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In considering it, I thought perhaps it had to do with when
I did my laundry. But further
reflection, Mom, the last time this happened I had not yet done laundry. And it happened on a Thursday (I remember,
Mom, because David came to visit on the Friday after and we had to set up the
fans…I knew it would come to me). So,
perhaps it does have to do with the irrigation?
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyway, after a shower and a Bible study (no Insanity today because
my sister was out celebrating her birthday with her husband) I began the long
day’s journey of a job hunt. Oh, I can’t
wait till this over! I applied to a few
more places. As I was just about to reach my limit, I got a call from my
mini-me!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some of you know I competed in the Miss California State
Competitions for a few years. I was 1<sup>st</sup>
Runner Up in 2008 (I was really proud of that because my kid brother was the
California State Ambassador the same year!)
Anyway, the competition is held at the end of July every year and this
year they need more chaperons. This
group of people are some of the sweetest and most supportive people I have ever
had the pleasure of knowing. It is
because of their work with me that I am now great at interviews and public
speaking. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the process of competing, one of the teen candidates
every year was Andrea (a very talented and bright young girl). We hit it off and now she is my mini-me. She works for Youth Focus, Inc. (the
non-profit that runs the scholarship competition). She asked me if I could be a chaperon for
one of the Miss contestants. Now, when I
was there the rule was no once could chaperon if they were under the age of
35. So, I inquired about this. I was told the top guy of the organization
asked specifically if I could (so that is a compliment in and of itself), but
she followed it up by saying, “And you have a kind of maturity that is both
ageless and timeless.” I would have done
it because Mr. S asked, but flattery was the icing on the cake. So, the end of July I will be working with
the competition for a week. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Done fall, one of the judges I have been particularly good
at avoiding. You see, I got into these
competitions because my ex-fiancé was in them.
He is now a judge who I really don’t want to see. But, at least I can say I am in the best
shape of my life and have a great boyfriend and a plan to head to D.C. but the
end of the year! That will be great to
have out there. And Robert says if he
tries anything he will fly out here and put him in his place (comforting and
totally unnecessary but makes me smile anyway).
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I got an e-mail in the midst of all this to edit a couple
children’s books. Thank God for small
jobs! It wasn’t much, but the check will
be nice when I receive it. It did
require me digging out some old editing books.
You see, when I moved in I purposely did not unpack my numerous
books. They are hard to pack up and put
away (they are my friends and always there when I need them…yes, I know I sound
like a loner geek…and maybe I am a little). But as I searched for these books,
I came across a couple more fun books and I just had to pull them out to
read. But, once I found the ones I
needed I got straight to those books and finished them. I got the best e-mail in response to my work:
“You’re the best! Once again you KNOCKED
IT OUT OF THE PARK!” There is nothing
like an accolade like that to make your heart smile. If you know anyone who wants something edited
– you know who to refer!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I then had the pleasure of enjoying a salad and a long walk
through the orchards (you have to get some movement in you when you live way
out here you have to force yourself sometimes) with my mom. She got me this “just because” gift (I like
those the best). It was as necklace with
three charms: an Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Trioumph, and a camera – perfect for
me. We enjoyed some conversation about
our neighbors and the town and then back to work. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was then lucky enough to get a phone call from
Robert. We caught up and I succeeded in
irking him. I guess you could say it was
our first fight. I used the wrong word
in trying to communicate that I want him to meet and like my friends and
family. He thought I meant they were
going to judge him (which my friends don’t do; I only hang out with amazing
people). It put him on defense and me on
defense trying to defend them when they hadn’t even done anything. That is why dating through technology is hard
– it makes it significantly harder to communicate. We cleared everything up and I headed to a
Restoration Railroad meeting. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Restoration Railroad is the non-profit I am checking out
that is anti- human trafficking. I was
hoping to get a feel of the organization but it was a night where they had a special
speaker. The topic – pornography is
human trafficking. There were three
speakers: two (a man and woman) who are pornography addicts and a man who used
to very successfully produce pornography in Chico. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It was a great topic.
There was a lot of discussion of supply and demand – if there was not a
demand there would not be a supply.
Apparently 90% of men and 70% of women admit to a pornography addiction
in blind studies. But more interesting
to me, 80% of clientele are Christians with peak viewing hours being right
after Sunday service. These are all
interesting and sad facts. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But, I have a hard time saying a college girl who signs a
contract to get paid for services rendered is trafficked. He
did not convince of that, just gave more reasons to hate the industry. You see I don’t watch porn; I don’t like what
it does or the effects of it. But I have
dated people who are addicted to it. Not
my favorite thing in the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But, to me (and understand I have studied this extensively
for years) human trafficking is defined as a human (usually a child) that has
been recruited, transported, transferred, harbored, or received for the purpose
of exploitation. This can be through
forced labor (working in brick kilns to sweat shops and domestic slaves to
child soldiers) or in the sex industry including commercial sex, brothels,
strip clubs and escort and massage services (this is according to UNICEF). <span style="background: white; color: #006699; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Though I can understand why Donny
Pauling can consider the porn industry human trafficking, I have a hard time
agreeing. The women and men he recruited
(much like companies all over the world recruit) have not been coerced into
signing the contract and are paid for services rendered. Do I think the industry objectifies the
participants? Yes. Do I think it ruins the lives of the models
and those who demand the industry? Yes.
Do I think that side of it is human trafficking? No. So, although the presentation was
interesting, I was sad not to learn more about the actual problem of human
trafficking (which happens in the area – check out the brothel that was closed
down in January by the FBI in Live Oak). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I would love to hear any thoughts
you have on the matter. Perhaps I am not
being liberal enough in my understanding of human trafficking. If you are interested in learning more,
however, I would highly recommend a great starting point: read the book Half
the Sky. Amazing eye opener! And check out the FBI website on your area, I
think you will be very surprised at what you find. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Chaotic Contemplationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06607813029897029059noreply@blogger.com3