I am in the middle of working three weeks straight, with no
weekends. I am tired. I have been tired all week, but God continues
to call me to His divine appointments.
Remember Nick? Well,
his situation has gotten worse and God keeps telling me to care. So, this week I put my actions were my words
are. I had coffee with him. Now before any of you jump to conclusions
(because that is the kind of world we live in) Robert knows all about it and
knew about it before it happened and is well aware of the conversations we
had. But, here is what happened.
When you know someone for twenty years it give you some privileges
to do and say certain things that in normal situations you wouldn’t. It also gives you a boldness you might not
otherwise have when calling someone out.
But, there is a fine line between holding someone accountable and
helping someone who is hurting. So, I
started at the beginning…where he was.
What did he need from a friend that would help and not hurt him? First, he needed an ear, which I was more
than happy to give. He was honest about
his mistakes and how the mistakes of others have affected him and his
family. I let him vent, without putting
in my two cents (which if you know me at all was REALLY difficult).
The second thing he needed was to be held accountable. Lucky for me I have been his accountability
partner for a couple of things, and believe that all our brothers and sisters
in Christ should hold each other accountable.
So, I boldly went forward. I told
him he needed to be surrounded by Christian friends, and that meant, he had to
go where he knew they and God were, i.e church.
Now, that doesn’t mean he has to come to my church, but he needs to be
where God is. But more importantly, he
needs to be listening to God. Don’t get
me wrong, I think there is a time and place to express your frustration at God
(like you would with any a friend…he does call us friend you know) and to
express your anger at life. But, if all
you do is talk, you are not growing in your relationship. Just like any other relationship, there must
be a dialogue with God. That means
sometimes we have to shut our mouths and listen. He, at least in my experience, doesn’t
usually speak audible, but God will use people, music, books, games, etc. to communicate
with us. We just have to close our
mouths and open our ears. Sometimes, it
takes a friend of twenty years who has gone through the ringer with you to
remind you of this.
Now, he did not go to church today, but he at least is open to the idea of looking beyond himself
and moving forward to a brighter future.
But the conversation was good healing for me too. We both came to a place of good friendship
again, forgiving the other of wrongs done.
Forgiving is so big. It is
amazing what it covers and what healing it brings. If you have never forgiven someone who has
really hurt you, honest to goodness deeply, I cannot begin to express how
powerful a thing it is in for you personally and for the relationship. I highly recommend it.
So, divinely placed coffee date…yep.
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